MEMOIRS OF PIERRE
This Is My Attempt At Humour In The
Face Of Horrors Of The War In Europe, During WWII. My Apologies To Everyone For Mangling All The
Names And Places, Purposefully
By
Izzy Ess Of Unhappiness
Major David Cunningham was just
relaxing in the mess for officers when Major Susan Billings entered. She was wearing nothing but her four inch
spikes and walked across the mess to sit upon the lap of Major Cunningham. “It was a cunning stunt,” said Sergeant
Stewart Potts, explaining that the female major had unzipped the fly of Major
Cunningham so subtlety before she sat upon his lap and fished his manhood out
to rest upon. Major David’s manhood had
slithered into Major Susan’s private parts and disappeared. Major Susan had lit up her imported cigarette
and ordered two Martinis for herself and downed them quickly. “’Twas amazing that the majorette who served
the drinks undressed completely to reduce the tension in the room, which had
increased quite exponentially. The
majorette retrieved two flaming, twirling, golden rods, to twirl to take the
pressure off the male and female majors who started grunting rather loudly. A four star general, the General Store
Manager, filled his bucket with cold water and he emptied it upon the pair of
majors which doused the spirit of our Cupid and wilted all his arrows, eh? The majorette did tackle the four-star
general, but it was much too late to help the majors. The majorette discovered that the General
Store Manager was hard and throbbing down below his waist and she took full
advantage of her nakedness and unzipped the fly of Manager. She parked herself exactly right to get her
derriere exactly centred on the Manager’s staff and took it gracefully right up
her derriere and made it disappear. This
was stimulating to the majors and they began to grind and grunt, again. With all the grunting of the majorette, the
general and both the majors, it sounded like a pig sty during summertime.”
The
three-star general, Pierre de Mille, was writing his own memoirs and had
changed the names of all the personnel to guard their privacy. In company of Lulu Belle, his girlfriend, he
felt he had a book to publish which would be a great success if someone used it
for a movie, eh? Our Lulu had already
published her great memoirs of a field whore who had helped to win the war by
keeping generals from getting overheated by dousing them with vodka and
massaging all their mastheads. She had
massaged Pierre de Mille’s great manhood and he had returned the favour by
massaging both her breasts and private parts which resulted in a union that was
extraordinary. Our Pierre was smitten
and he smite our Lulu, too, with love and admiration, for her part in winning
WWII. De Galle had honoured her by
pressing a big medal on her ample breasts and then upon her private parts where
she received a purple heart, a rosy heart and a tremendous heart of gold. Lulu had reciprocated and had done her trick
with Charles de Galle in front of God and everyone, while she was given salvos
of erections just with which to deal.
Pierre
was merely kissed upon the cheek and then his other cheek when he received his
medal. He could not duplicate the
actions of his Lulu Belle. However, he
did whisper to de Galle that he would do his wife for free if he approved. De Galle had smiled and offered our Pierre
his wife and triplet daughters for initiation into rituals of sex, once proposed
by Marquis de Sade while he was in the nearby Institute for Craziness, in
Clarendon, a suburb of Paris. Pierre de
Mille was so outstanding with Madam de Galle and her three daughters,
Constance, Mary and Adele, that the General awarded him another medal for his
attention to his duty, in the line of fire!
Pierre
continued with his memoirs:
Major Samuel de Weinstein was a devil
in disguise. He appeared to sabotage his
unit by inviting Nazis to partake in wild and woolly parties in the meadows
just outside the trenches dug for war.
Recruiting lots of field whores, Samuel distracted all the Nazi Generals
with sex and mayhem to take over Paris for the French and give it to Americans
who wasted all their money in Casinos, eh?
Americans were truly mystified by women of Paris who asked the US
soldiers to take them home to USA and marry them! A General Menachim Smythe took three, one for
each of his naïve teenage sons, Midrash, Simon and Abendego.
The Guns of Nazarene were Mideast
fighters for the French. They were very
serious and fought the Germans and Italians and Austrians face-to-face with
fearlessness. The Scots and Turks were
likewise serious and fought the members of the Axis, surprising them in the
face of death with such ferociousness that the Axis members did surrender in
the trenches even with machine guns blazing everywhere in all directions, eh? The Wimps of Texas, old New York and Peoria
were taken prisoner and disclosed their secret plans for invading Normandy
instead of old Calais. Luckily, Der
Fuhrer was not convinced and felt it was a ruse until the morn of D-Day did
arrive and show that Normandy was truly where the Allies were making beachheads
and their castles in the sand. Were it
not for baseball heroes lobbing new grenades at nests of gunners, the Normandy
assault would have surely failed.
Eisenman and Field Marshall de la Marshall won the day and night and
lived to fight another day, or two, while all the while, the RAF, the FAF and
USAF did command the air space for them.
The slaughter on both sides was awful.
Our Frenchmen were outstanding as they could provide some women for the
nursing and massaging of the prisoners and victors on both sides.
Pierre
put down his plume and kissed his Lulu Belle on all her cheeks. Lulu understood he needed some massage and
she laid him supine on the floor. She
massaged his front with expertise and lubricated her own honeypot for better
tranquilizing treatment. Pierre was
mesmerized by Lulu Belle and couldn’t tell if she were just joking or
confabulating wildly when she screamed because of pleasure spasms in her inner
private parts. Pierre relaxed and
disengaged and returned to his own memoirs of the war in Europe:
Herr Rommel ditched the French in old
Morocco, new Algeria and uncommitted Libya, before his Fuhrer and his former
friend accused him of conspiracy to murder Hitler and take over Axis policy and
military movements in the WWII. My
Frenchmen were so glad that Hitler had just murdered his old friend by forcing
him to chew on cyanide. The French could
then claim victory in North Africa. They
were free to liberate the women of the area and enlist them in the grand old
manner acting as the hostesses for midday dinners and the pleasantries of
sexual encounters on the battlements.
Even prisoners were given pleasantries.
Toward the end of WWII, the Allies, led
by Frenchmen and Frenchwomen, captured only buxom women and they killed the
buxom men in Italy. Italians turned on
Mousseline and strung him up for all to see his puny manhood and his buxom
derriere. The occupation of all Italy
was then completed when Italian beauties everywhere embraced the members of the
Allied forces and massaged their derrieres and frontal areas. Many allied soldiers took home prized Italian
beauties for themselves and all their children back in France, the USA and
England. All were happy with the
servicing that the Italian women would provide.
Pierre
put down his nom de plume again and asked his Lulu Belle to service him. She complied and he felt better,
instantly. He never did complete his
memoirs and gave it up for servicing by Lulu Belle. The three daughters, Constance, Mary and
Adele, of De Galle, were frequent visitors and helped out Lulu service our
Pierre. Pierre died of apoplexy when he
was but forty-five. Lulu lived to be an
hundred, servicing her favourite good Frenchmen, including M. de Galle.
THE END
©
izzy sommers, md
Welland,
Canada
December
13, 2013
Friday
the 13th, eh?
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