PIERRE DION

a silly sonnette

by izzy ess of inverness


Pierre Dion was on the internet
When he discovered Automatic Bob,
A Blog of interest to a few fanatics
Of Rachmaninoff who realized
That Bach had long since died and Mozart was
Completely buried in a common grave.
Pierre began to cry aloud and sang
Mount Baldy Blues.  Suffice to say, The Bay
Of Pigs was overplayed and overlaid
With hanging vines, divinely grown in line
With Prussian/Russian Mortars which declined
An invitation to Bolshoi Ballet.
Just yesterday, Pierre, Adele and Jim
Conceded to a Conway, name of Tim.

THE END

(C) izzy sommers, md
welland, canada
june 30, 2013

PERSONALITY DISORDERS

THE DSM CLASSIFICATION OF PEOPLE…

SUPPORTED BY THE APA AND WHO PEOPLE…

APA IS THE AMERICAN PSYCHIIATRIC ASSOCIATION…

WHO IS THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION…

CREATED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE MAINLY OCPD…

WHO FEEL THEY KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR US ALL,

And don’t hesitate to tell us and direct us, accordingly and with self-righteous pomposity…

THESE ARE THE TWELVE PERSONALITY “DISORDERS:”

(1)           paranoid personality disorder

(2)           schizoid personality disorder

(3)           schizotypal personality disorder

(4)           borderline personality disorder

(5)           antisocial personality disorder

(6)           narcissistic personality disorder

(7)           histrionic personality disorder

(8)           avoidant personality disorder

(9)           dependent personality disorder

(10)         obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

(11)         intellectual disabilities

(12)         “normal”-creative-musical-athletic-charismatic-healing-leading-teaching personality disorder

Considering that everyone is a person and therefore has a personality, these are arbitrary and don’t account for the observation that there are frequent cross-overs and people with two or more personalities.  Overlapping descriptions of the personalities observed is universal.  In society, we all are aware that some folks just don’t fit the standard definitions, which are, in fact, contrived.  Astrologers and horoscope creators are well aware that their predictions are based on huge differences between people with various personalities while at the same time conceding that under the skin, we all have shared feelings, goals and conceptualizations of what life is all about.  The interesting coincidence is that the classifications have been used for years by physicians, magicians, leaders, teachers and healers, probably dating back to the cavemen and cavewomen and cave-children,  There’s a lot of genetic determination for personalities  With determination and hard work and psychological supervision, most of us can alter our personalities somewhat to re-create ourselves to fit our own dreams, goals and machinations.  It is safe to say, that the most comfortable amongst us are those that recognize our genetically determined, family personality, and relax and let happen whatever happens and not be disturbed, unduly.  Interestingly, the Chinese have a 12 year calendar of personalities and signs, animals.  Occidentals follow the old image of monthly personalities that we call the Zodiac.  Perhaps it’s naïve of me to say, no matter where one is, people are people, basically similar to me and you.  My birthday is February 15, 1938.  This makes me a Tiger and a Water Carrier.  In Cosmopolitan Magazines and in other books on the Occidental and Oriental signs of the Zodiac.  The folklorish descriptions of my Water Carrying Tiger personality are very accurate, as far as i can tell.  The day to day descriptions of my activities are way off or they fit everyone reading them.

The number, 12, is in itself very interesting.  There are 12 Zodiac Signs in both the Occidental and Oriental Zodiacs,  Jacob, in the Mosaic Pentateuch, the first 5 books of the Old Testament, had 12 sons, if you leave out his thirteenth, a daughter, Dinah.  There were 12 Jewish Tribes and 12 Jewish Disciples of Jesus.  In a right-angled triangle whose sides are 3, 4 and 5, a geometric figure which helped the Egyptians and Jews build the pyramids, the perimeter is 12.  I believe a Cubit was 12 inches, the usual distance from the forefinger to the elbow, which was the standard unit for the building of Noah’s Ark.  An inch was the length of someone’s thumb.  The French, who messed us all up with the Metric System of Weights and Measures, made 10 the standard number, instead of the seemingly natural, 12.

As humans, the old standard for behaviour was a human who erred.  The 7 “deadly” sins, AKA, “errors,” are

1.        GREED

2.        GLUTTONY

3.        LUST

4.        SLOTH

5.        ANGER

6.        ENVY

7.        PRIDE

The most dramatic presentation of these, that I have ever seen, was the movie, SEVEN.  It starred the excellent actors, Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey and Gwen Paltrow.  Please watch it, if you dare.  The Bible also lists CURSES and BLESSINGS.  Of course, the CURSES far outnumber the BLESSINGS…  In my opinion, the sins are more interesting than the blessings.  Besides, where would we all be if everyone was un-erring.  It would be a truly boring existence.  Creativity would be truly stifled if everyone were the same self-righteous holier-than-thou individual.

A paranoid person is always certain that someone or something is out to get him or her.

A schizoid person is shy and suspicious of everyone’s attempt to do them harm.

A schizotypal person is one who tends to act or think in an illogical manner

A borderline person is borderline bizarre in thinking and behaviour with difficulties centred around setting boundaries.

An antisocial person is uncomfortable mingling with other people

A narcissistic person imitates Narcissus who sat all day at the edge of a pond, gazing at his or her own reflection.

A histrionic person is one who likes to tell dramatic stories, true or fictional.

An avoidant person is one who dislikes confrontation and dealing with problems

A dependent person is one who looks to others for how to feel and how to act, co-dependency being a very common form of relationship in marriage, friendships, society and governments.

An obsessive-compulsive person is chained to his self-prescribed schedules and regimented ways of thinking and behaving.  This person feels that everyone would benefit from his or her successes due mostly to his own “manufactured” ideas of working, behaving and thinking.  This person is big on rules and regulations, mainly of his or her contrivance, or the contrivance of all the other obsessive-compulsive people that surround him because he or she seeks them out for his own comfort.  He or she is extremely uncomfortable with what he or she sees as an unpredictable, unbalanced, non-rule abiding person.  If that person cannot be brought “into line,” plotting amongst OCPD’s usually results in forced institutionalization, imprisonment or ostracization of the “offending” creative, normal person.

A normal person is most likely found amongst the native and aboriginal peoples of the world.  Those that have undergone professional psychoanalysis or have struggled with self-actualization, are rarely lauded or appreciated and seem to be the instigators in situations where there are restrictive rules and regulations set by self-righteous folks, usually the OCPD’s.

This essay was unsolicited and as such would frighten or anger some other persons, who don’t have personalities like my own.  For those of you that appreciate the summaries of names of personalities and my probably biased descriptions, I appreciate your difficulties which may be based on easily seen differences in scheduling and disciplining.  Much good luck, my friends.  You’ll need it!

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 30, 2013

IT’S NOT DANGEROUS!

A comment on the Zeitgeist, the spirit of our times.

By Izzy Ess of Peace and Happiness

Siz nisht gefehrlickt,”  hatt gezukt, der honig

Finklshtein.  Zein freundt, der shmutzig Offenback,

Hat nisht gefragt, “Vee geht ess, uberall?

Err hatt gezukt, ‘Vee geht ess, uber alles?’

Und err hatte gemeindt, ‘How goes it in

The Fatherland, the Land that’s over everything,

Like in the anthem, DEUTCHLAND, DEUTCHLAND,

UBER ALLES.’  It’s not dangerous,

For we are German Jews and Citizens.

We duly pay our taxes and we work

A lot for food and shelter and our businesses.

We pray in Synagogues for Freedom, Peace

And Happiness.  They will not rob us or

Destroy us.  We are safe!  Amen and Hallelujah.

We’ve even taken on their language and their dialects.  They sometimes, call us Yids.  So what!  We call them Krauts.”  “I have a feeling that’s it’s dangerous, my friend,” insisted Honig Finklshtein.  “I feel it in my bones.”  Unfortunately, he was right and was the first to lose his business and be shipped off with family to camps which claimed that work was freedom.  Shmutzig Offenback was next in line to have his windows smashed and shipped to camps where he, just like the other German Jews were separated from their families and forced to work without a lot of food.

FORGIVE THEM LORD: THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DID AND DO!

The Neo-fascists are a growing factor in the world without a soulful protest from the rest of us and not a lot of loud resistance from the Press and Governments.  Apparently, the Genocides and Wars are on their way.  Perhaps the Second Coming will arrive a little sooner than anticipated.  Perhaps the Floods, Tsunamis, Fire and Brimstone has already heralded the end of Sin and the establishment of Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men and Women and their Progeny.  Amen and Hallelujah!

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 29, 2013

THE TRIPLE WINNER CLUB

A Fictional Short Saga of Secrecy

By izzy ess of craziness

On the fourth Thursday of each and every month, the dinner and meeting of the Wetland Chapter of TRIPLE WINNER CLUB was held at the posh Royal Reynolds Hotel, in Wetland, Ontario, Canada.  During the evening, there were open lines to other Chapters who were meeting at approximately the same time, in other cities in North America.  It was strictly private.  To be present, you must be a Triple Widow, or better and have been sworn to secrecy.  No reporters or photographers were ever allowed.  Careful checking was essential.  All the ladies stripped off all their clothes, as a kind of kindred ritual, but also as a re-assurance that no was carrying weapons or recording devices.  All of the cooking and serving, seating and greeting was done by the CLUB members themselves.  The staff of the hotel was tipped, generously, and discharged before anyone could overhear or discern what was being discussed.  Officially, the TWC was started in 1938, but unofficially, such secret meetings were going on long before then.  I’m taking a chance in secretly writing this on my home computer, as I have been sworn to secrecy many times since my third husband died.  I am one of the poorer members of the TWC and I’m writing this in the hopes of selling it to a newspaper or magazine.  Most of the other members of the CLUB were very wealthy, owned at least one large house and drove at least one large black car, unless they had hired a chauffeur.

The fare for the evening was a seven course meal featuring lobster and filet mignon.  Each course had its own wine or liqueur.  I found it humourous because the ladies who were serving and clearing dishes were all naked and had hanging, swinging breasts.  The motion of their breasts would have made a ballet very interesting, had there been ballet music.  Four of the ladies, who weren’t serving and clearing plates, were in a quartette of musicians on a small stage playing old show tunes from Show Boat, Oklahoma, Guys and Dolls and Carousel.  The banjo player was particularly good and the pianist was excellent.  The saxophonist and fiddler were out of tune and not in time.  They created their own ballet with flapping breasts and flopping derrieres.  The food was delicious and the liqueurs were intoxicating.  I felt guilty for my plans to expose the Club and its discussions of techniques for offing wealthy, elderly husbands, who had been enticed into marriages without prenuptial agreements.  No one had every been accused or suspected of murder and mayhem.  One had induced her hard of hearing spouse into the front grill of a giant tractor-trailer while another had induced her almost blind spouse into falling into an elevator shaft.  Yet another boasted of undetectable poisons and others were proud of staged suicides.  The techniques for killing wealthy men were very creative and effective.  Fairly common were bathtub drownings.  Not a few had arranged deaths in private swimming pools.  My memories were straining to hold onto details of the stories overheard and discussions that ensued.

I’ve picked this Blog to print my story.  My fear of retribution has me in disguise and moving to another town.  Sincerely, dizzyisobel@blogger.com

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

THE LEGENDS OF BLUE FINNEY

An Interesting Fictional Saga

By Izzy Ess of Wilderness

Blue Finney Smaller-Tail sashayed into

The Three-Stream Feed-Out in the Northern Region

Of the Water Routes.  It was the Time

For Feeding and Enjoining.  In the past,

Blue Finney was successful in Enjoining

With another Smaller-Tail.  However,

Last Time was a bummer, eh?  No Smaller-

Tail had waved her Tail at him.  A Bigger-

Tail was tempting but he had not dared

To cross the lines of Courtesy.  Perhaps

The female Bigger-Tail was also all

Alone and had not dared to cross the lines,

Herself.  This year he was quite anxious to

Enjoin.  The Feeding was outstanding but

His appetite was poor.  His eye-sight was

So poor, he couldn’t tell the smaller Small-

Tails from the Whities.  Hearing was still excellent.

He heard an unfamiliar hum.

It was continuous but had an amplitude

Slow rhythmic pattern.  He investigated

And it was a large sea creature

With a spinning tail, he’d never seen

Nor heard before.  “Oh, what the hey?” he said

So softly to himself.  Approaching cautiously,

He hummed as best he could, in rhythm with

The Grey Small-Spinning-Tail, assuming it

Was female.  Quite encouraged by the rise

In peaks of amplitude, he tried to match

The loudness and the frequency of humming.

Suddenly, the humming stopped and so

Did Spinning-Tail!  He bellowed, “Help!”  It was

Too late.  A rubber sheet enveloped him

And he was lifted up on high and swung

Around until he saw that he was trapped

And dropped down through a mouth of sorts atop

Ms. Spinning-Tail.  He hit the salty water

With a mighty splash and thrashed around.

There was no exit he could see or feel.

He clicked repeatedly without detecting

Exits.  He detected three Small-Tails.

The mouth of sorts closed over and the darkness

Was complete.  The four Small-Tails gave up

And stopped their useless thrashing.  Much delicious

Krill was everywhere and Feeding was

Delightful.  An Enjoining was impossible,

Since all the Small-Tails were just males.

Despair was felt and sent to all four males.

They rubbed their bodies for assurance that

There was no danger to them at that time.

Besides the Feeding was delicious.

“So be it!” they all agreed and tried to calm

Themselves.  The humming started up again

Without revealing what its nature was,

Or who the creature could be.  And, the four

Sensed right away some movement was afoot.

At times the humming was intense and changed

Its frequency and modulations, eh?

The guess amongst the four was that the humming

Creature was afloat and heading out

To sea.  The krill was increased frequently

And was assuring, in a way, that harm

Was not forthcoming.  Panic feelings did

Subside.  The solar cycles were not seen

But guesses were they were at sea for thirteen

Days and never did the creature stop

To feed.  And, rarely, they did sense some movement

Up above by clumping sounds and vocal

Sounds of strange design.  No threats were felt

At any time.  There was some creaking that

Was strange which seemed to come from metal straining

Under pressure but the volume was

Not high and no signs of attack nor flight

Was evident.  The fright and fight were also

Absent.  Slowing was detected and

The humming was reduced in amplitude,

While modulation was continued.  Bumps

Occurred which shuddered through the water they

Were swimming in.  Then, suddenly, a light

Shone brightly in an opening above

The level of the water they were in.

They quickly swam toward the light and found

Themselves in deeper lukewarm water.  They

Sucked in some air and dove.  The ocean bottom

Was alive with life forms and a layer

Of the krill they found so sweet.  Above

Them was the humming creature which did move

Away and disappear.  Some tiny metal

Vessels hung about and some did hum

With higher frequencies.  They moved together

Southwardly, they guessed.  Quite sated, they

Moved up to check the surface and were pleasantly

Surprised.  Ice covered what was land,

They guessed.  And lo, some other Small-Tails, males

And females were about and greeted them.

They welcomed them into their group and showed

Them ice and snow in great amounts.  They dove

And indicated where the krill was most

Abundant.  The Enjoining was completely

Free of complications and was wonderful.

Blue Finney felt so wonderful,

He started humming loudly, purring-like.

The others understood the meaning and

Began to hum with him.  It was a Blue

Fin Paradise!

There was a cove that led

To palms and lakes and gardens, arboreta

And some riverbeds so full of life,

It did surprised Blue Finney.  One was fat

And funny-looking like a pig on steroids.

His deep thoughts were readable by all.

He said he always wanted to be swimming

But he sank so fast.  The Blue Fins and

The Hippopotami became involved

In demonstrating exercises for

A swim and for a walk.  Surprisingly

To everyone, it worked.  The eight explorers

Of the possibilities therein

Became a team for exploration of

The land and sea.  None of them had good vision

And they missed originally the

Huge dome that covered miles of ice and snow

And would, no doubt, have brought some tropical

Conditions to the Island Continent

Of Ice and Snow.  They came upon a hut

Of artificial alloys where some smallish

Animals would mill about and set

Up glass and rubber tubing for experiments.

All had long white coats which did open

In the front.  Some were some different sexes,

Ages and skin colours.  Eyes were blue

And brown and green.  And some had magnifying

Lenses on their faces.  All had instruments

That made some squiggly lines on white

And yellow sheets.  Some touched their lips together

Or their bodies touched from head to toes.

Some spent some time together in a room

Allowing them to bare their bodies and

Enjoin and laugh and scream and sing and make

Some instruments make music.  Sounds were pleasant

And exciting, sometimes.  Our octet

Tried humming, singing, clicking, whistling to

Accompany the music, but was unsuccessful,

While attempts were noted by

The smallish animals.  The differences

Between the males and females were unlike

Their own, but joining seemed to be quite similar,

As was the eating and eliminating.

Some burnt small devices made

Of some organic stuff.  And some were happier

And much more joyous than the others.  Some

Were always very sombre and they never

Seemed to sing or dance or listen to

The music like the others.  It seemed safe

To swim and walk with them and try to talk.  Some had

Some small machines which duplicated sounds

They sometimes made.  It was surprising to

Hear a repeat of grunts and squeaks and clicks

And roars and wales and warning snorts.  These smallish

Ones would make the tiny instruments

Show pictures and repeat their sounds and broadcast

Them.  At least once every sun cycle,

The octet would re-gather with octets

Of smallish ones and try to make communications.

Breakthroughs came about when one

Male smallish one projected pictures on

A screen that showed us images of Hippopotami

And Whales and People, naked

In a frontal view with side-by-side,

Females and males, and underneath each image

was a string of molecules, the building

Blocks of DNA.  And lo, the DNA

Of Hippopotami and Whales

Were virtually the same, whereas the DNA

Of People was significantly

Different.  And, they showed us pictures and

The DNA of Silverbacks and Chimpanzees

And People, once again, and lo,

The similarity between the Apes

And Monkeys and the People, was so striking!

Time went by and sure enough, a Person,

Name of Percy, learned to click and whistle

In Blue Finney’s language.  Both Blue Finney

And James Percy could relate the histories

Of Whales and People to each other from

The stories told to each of them in Legends,

Mainly told by elders.  Percy had

Some written books and scrolls of Legends while

Blue Finney had the Legends told to him

By older whales.  Remarkably, the histories

Did match in many aspects and they seemed

To differ only in duration, eh?

Dear reader, you, of course, are quite familiar

With the People’s Legends and their written

And recorded histories.  Most occidentals have a history that starts with Genesis.  Though Muslims, Jews and Christians differ somewhat, they say their origins are Biblical and date humanity from that.  The scientists among you have been stretching human history for many years.  There is a theory that humanity was started in dark Africa and spread throughout the world.  The usual suggestion is that the original small human may have lived in trees in Africa perhaps in fertile areas, including Nile and Congo areas.  Important populations may have lived around the Mediterranean Sea.  Egyptian, Persian, Greek and Roman Empires are examples.  The oriental peoples are quite ancient and it’s origins are not as clear.  The Land and Water routes to everywhere made possible migrations of the human race throughout the world.  Most feel that North and South Americans were either Asians or the Europeans.  I would like to offer just a thought about migrations having been the opposite.  That is, it’s possible that humanity and civilizations, possibly some 50,000 years ago began in what is now the Western Hemisphere, in South and Central areas.  Some findings up and down the Western coast of South America suggest they had technology that was amazing, even aeroplanes.  They seemed to have abilities to move huge, heavy rocks and fit them tight without cement.  The many pyramids still seen are sometimes built in mountain sides and some on mountain tops which would require advanced techniques for moving and re-shaping heavy rocks to tops of mountains.  The ancestors of Incas, Aztecs and the Mayans were advanced, no doubt.  The Mayan calendar has a 10,000 year cycle.  There are structures in Venezuela and Peru that look like airstrips and can only be conceptualized from heights of 200 miles above the level of the sea.  The Easter Island heads that look toward the Orient may also signify that humans actually came from China or Japan, New Zealand or Australia.  We may never know for sure.

Whales are mentioned on the first page of Genesis.  Apparently, God, Moses and the Holy Ghost didn’t know that whales are mammals.  Genesis mentions them as fishes under the sea when the Earth was young and land was barely formed.  The sequence in Genesis suggests that first there was a void and second there were firmaments, dividing Heaven from Earth.  Then there was light and dark, and the sun, the moon and the stars.  This doesn’t fit with The Theory of Everything, or String Theory, or the widely accepted Big Bang Theory, with definitive mathematical support.  Strings, atoms and molecules are not part of the Bible.  Be that as it may, some of the descriptions of events, such as The Flood, can be correlated with tectonic plate movement, as proposed by Jacques Cousteau and others.  And, The Deluge was part of several legends by the Hebrews and the Greeks and Romans, for example.  Personally, I like the “cross-overs,” inasmuch as, with a little stretching of the facts, one Legend can support the “facts” in another Legend.  Besides The Deluge/The Flood, I like the speculation that Esther of the Hebrew Bible, Old Testament, was actually Scheherazade of the Legend of 1001 Nights.  Both stories occurred in Persia, now Iran, and both women were very young, probably teenage, harem girls.  Also, both Esther and Scheherazade became the Queen of Persia after very bold behaviour in the presence of the King of Persia, Xerxes, in Greek, and Achascverus, in Hebrew.

Incidentally, “Xerxes,” pronounced by most English-speaking folks, sounds like “Zercksies.”  A Greek person might say “Cherches,” saying the “X,” as the Greek letter, “chi.”  It has a guttural sound for most Greeks, and should come out more like, “Herhes,” with the “H” sounding like he would clear his throat.  That makes the name Xerxes sound more like the Spanish, Jorje, or the Hungarian, Jorj, or the English, George.  This would make the powerful King of Persia be an ordinary King George.  It’s humorous enough to be true.  I believe this is an original line of thought about King Xerxes, so it may be far from the truth.

The cross-over story in the Legend of the Whales with the Legend of the Humans, may be the story of Jonah and the Whale.  Blue Finney did have a story in his legend which made eating humans quite distasteful because they induced vomiting.  That’s why Whales never eat humans, despite Melville’s Moby Dick story.  Whales and Penguins like to eat krill from the ocean floor.  Orcas, of all the Whales, are treacherous.  They will eat Penguins and helpless baby whales of other variety of whales.  In the natural order of things, Orcas number about two million, while Penguins, about two billion.  They Whale Legend includes the idea that there was originally one land mass created by rifts in the ocean floor which allowed eruptions of molten magma, one of which was so large, solidification occurred.  Cracks in the land mass allowed Continental Drift, which is still occurring.  The Legend described one Continent, or section of a continent, to “slam” into another continent and heap up the land, produceing mountain ranges.  The most dramatic were the Himalayas and the Rockies-Andes ranges.  The huge triangular continental piece, on its tectonic plate, now the Country of India, slammed into the huge continent of Eurasia and heaped up the Himalayas to the highest peaks known in the world.  The pieces of land that struck the west coasts of North and South America, are still moving north.  When they get “stuck” and then suddenly release, they cause earth quakes.  A similar situation exists with the two tectonic plates that make up New Zealand, I think.

The Whale Legend fit very well the scientific knowledge of tectonic plates and continental drifts.  The stories of the conflicts with the humans started with the whaling boats and certain Oriental populations who killed and captured whales for food and profit from sperm which produced some of the world’s most famous and expensive fragrances and perfumes.  Whales that beached themselves were often “insane,” or otherwise disabled, and could no longer provide for themselves.  The sea routes, north, south, east and west were known to all the whales by communications skills, some of which could be heard for miles, underwater.  Large metal vessels with humming motors often disturbed the whales and hampered their underwater communications.  Sometimes, a whale would become ill or disoriented.  Some of these were the whales that beached themselves.  Submarines were often dangerous because of many factors, not the least of which were underwater explosives which could deafen whales and make them very ill.  Torpedoes rarely hit a whale directly but the explosions caused by hitting ships was deafening and disorienting.  The Legend of the Whales included allegories concerning land animals which took to the seas and changed from Hippopotami to Whales.  The music of the Whales was thought to be a gift of a superior spirit.  It provided solace and pleasure for the whales no matter where they were.  It nearly matched another human legend that, “In the Beginning there was Music and the Music was a gift of the Original Creator of the Seas.”  Most Whales thought of their dreamy world as a Paradise, disturbed only by distasteful People.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 27, 2013

PERSEPHONE OF SEVILLE

A Tail Worth Telling

[Tongue-in-Cheek]

By izzy ess of meaningless

Persephone Seville arrived a day

Too late, in Quito, Ecuador, to have

Participated in the Mardi Gras

Parade in which the marchers took their clothes

Completely off to demonstrate their happiness

At having lived another year.

Some revelers, the year before had started

Fires and riots and turned over cars

And busses, vowing that they would prevent

The next year’s celebration by their terrorizing

Acts of murder, mayhem and

And fires, producing grand reduction of

The town to rubble.  Luckily, the citizens

Combined their efforts and they fought

The criminals and chased them out of town

In tarred and feathered outer clothes.  This year’s

Parade was celebration of the love

That everyone held dear for Quito, eh?

Persephone got naked anyway

And was applauded by the populace,

Who followed suit in droves, despite the fact

That Wednesday was the start of Lent, a day

That usually was serious.  The Quito

City Council voted Percy as

A PERSON EXTRAORDINARY and

And named the day, THE PERCY’S HOLIDAY!

Each year in Quito everyone will celebrate

By walking naked in the streets when Lent

Begins.  It makes the chore of dieting,

Or skipping chocolate, more appetizing.

One hopes that PERCY’S HOLIDAY becomes

More Universal and it spreads to all

Of South and North America and Europe,

Asia, Africa, Australia and

Antarctica, although it would be cold

In Old, ice-cold Antarctica, undressed

And altogether nude.  Oh, well.  It was

A thought, perhaps not practical for all.

Suffice to say, in Mandalay, it is

A Ball!  And, Lent will never be the same.

To pass this up would surely be a shame.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 27, 2013

A THURSDAY MESSAGE

By izzy ess of wilderness

Dear Readers,

GREETINGS, PEACE AND HAPPINESS from WELLAND, ONTARIO, CANADA.

The green eggs, ham and mended fractures are the gift of Dr. Seuss,

my favourite poetic genius outside of

Willie Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth I, who may have written him.

HAPPY CANADA DAY

courtesy of the special keepers of the spiritual leaders of all things natural including

POLAR BEARS WHO HAVE LOST THEIR HABITATS DUE THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF

CARBON DIOXIDE SINCE THE DEATH OF ALL THE DINOSAURS AND THEIR CONVERSION

INTO GAS AND OIL.  ENSLAVEMENT OF THE PEOPLES WHO TOOK CARE TO BE AT ONE

WITH NATURE STILL CONTINUES.  INUIT AND CHEROKEE, MOHAWK, SENECA, CREE,

HURON, AND ALL THE REST ARE FORCED TO LIVE AMONGST THE USERS OF THE

LANDS, RESOURCES AND THE SPIRITS OF THE TREES AND MOUNTAINS, LAKES AND

RIVERS THAT ARE FAST BECOMING POISONOUS.

MAY ALL OF THEM RESPECT THEIR ELDERS

AND REPEAT THE LEGENDS OF THEIR GENESIS,

WITH KITH AND KIN AND DRUMS AND

MUSIC, DANCE AND ALL THE CHANTS

THAT CALL ON SPIRITS TO SURVIVE AND

RE-ESTABLISH SANITY FOR ALL MANKIND.

O, LEAVE THE OIL TO NATURE AND RESIST

THE EXPLOITATION OF THE OIL AND GAS FOREVER

SO THAT NATURAL CYCLES OF

HEAT AND FLOODS AND ICE AND FIRES AND WATER

MAY CONTINUE FOR LONGER

THAN IS DESTINED BY THE PRESENT LIFE STYLES

OF THE ABUSERS OF THE LANDS,

THE DESTROYERS OF THE OXYGEN SUPPLYING TREES AND

THE BLASTERS OF THE

LANDSCAPES THAT HAVE ALWAYS PROTECTED US.

MAY ALL CREATIVE PEOPLE SEE

THEIR DREAMS OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS COME TRUE.

MAY THE GOD/ALLAH OF ABRAHAM/IBRAHIM

DESIST FROM SETTING UP DESTRUCTION IN HIS QUEST

FOR THE UNNATURAL ORDER OF MANKIND.

LET WOMEN BE COMPLETELY FREE TO SING AND DANCE

AND BEAT THE TAMBOURINES.

MAY MEN DESIST FROM PLACING WOMEN IN AN UNTENABLE

INFERIOR POSITION AS THE CAUSE OF ALL THE EVIL IN THE WORLD.

MAY WOMEN BE ABLE TO STAND UP AND SPEAK OUT FOR EQUALITY.

MAY WOMEN TRULY EXPRESS THEIR TALENTS

FOR HEALING, LEADERSHIP AND TEACHING

MAY THE LEGENDS OF BEGATTING INCLUDE

AT LEAST AS MANY WOMEN AS THE MEN WHO

SEEM TO HAVE ENGENDERED MILLIONS

WITH VERY FEW RECORDINGS OF THE WOMEN

WHO WERE SURELY THERE.

MAY JESUS' GLAD TIDINGS BE HEEDED.

MAY LOVE, NOT ANGER AND NOT FEAR,

ENGENDER KIND BEHAVIOUR ALL AMONGST US WHO STILL

HAVE WORSHIPPED GOLDEN IDOLS, SEEMINGLY FOREVER.

MAY GOLD BE RECONVERTED TO BE TRINKETS THAT SPARKLE

RATHER THAN ONLY POSSESSED BY

THE POWERFUL FALSE LEADERS OF MANKIND.

MAY TRUE FORGIVENESS FOLLOW US

FROM BIRTH TO DEATH AND

BRING THE PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO EARTH

AS IS PRESENTLY IN HEAVEN.

MAY LOVE OF THE CREATOR TRANSLATE INTO LOVE FOR EVERYONE.

IMAGINE THAT AND THE GLOW THAT WOULD ENSUE.

LOOK FORWARD TO THE

TIME WHEN ANGELS SING AND PLAY THEIR HARPS AND TRUMPETS,

HERALDING THE

PROMISED PEACE AND HAPPINESS,

SAFETY AND GOOD HEALTH,

FOR ALL THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD.

THE ADULTS STILL MUST LEARN TO LOVE AND HONOUR EVERYONE.

MAY SACRIFICE NEVER BE REQUIRED AGAIN TO SAVE OUR SOULS.

MAY JEWS AND ARABS RECOGNIZE THEIR SIBLINGS AND

DESIST FROM TRYING TO DESTROY

THEM IN THE NAME OF GOD AND ALLAH.

MAY BUDDHISTS AND THE OTHER ORIENTAL DEITIES PREVAIL AND

TEACH THE OCCIDENTALS HOW TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY.

LET THE POWERFUL AND THOSE WITH COFFERS FULL OF GOLD BE

ISOLATED ON A REMOTE ISLAND FAR FROM ALL THEY WOULD

ABUSE, ENSLAVE AND VILIFY.

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH.

FOLLOW PROPHETS LIKE MOHAMMED, GANDHI, JOBST AND THE MARTIN LUTHERS

AND NOT THE PROFITEERS LIKE GATES AND ALL

THE REST WHO WOULD SPY ON US AND

UNDERMINE OUR TRULY LOVING WAYS AND FORGIVING NATURES.

JESUS SAID IT WOULD BE EASIER TO GET A CAMEL THROUGH

THE EYE OF A NEEDLE THAN TO GET

THE BUSHES AND THE CHENEYS INTO HEAVEN.

SO BE IT!

HAVE A HAPPY THURSDAY

QUOTING MY KOREAN FRIEND, BE HAPPY, DON'T WORRY.

THE NATURAL ORDER OF THING WILL PROVIDE FOOD AND OXYGEN.

THE GRAND CREATOR SET IT UP THAT WAY.

I LOOK LIKE SANTA CLAUS AND SO DOES HE, OR SHE, OR IT.

LET THE MUSIC PREVAIL AND MAKE US SEE THE TRUTH.

AMEN.


THE END


(c) izzy sommers, md

welland, canada

june 26, 2013

THE THREAT OF BICYCLEZ

An interesting weather phenomenon

By Izzy Sommers, MD

When I was rich, some years ago, I owned a home, a highly mortgaged home, in Fonthill, Ontario, Canada, just north of Welland.  Cutting grass was de rigueur; otherwise, the grass police would be notified, resulting in a fine and/or municipal cutting of the grass with an atrocious charge.  I owned an electric mower and spewed the cuttings back into the lawn.  I became aware that wind direction would impede my progress if the clippings would be whipped into my face.  I made a simple, personal proposal: check the direction of the wind and mow in such a way that the clippings would be blown away from myself.  It seemed like such a simple task.

An East wind was extremely interesting.  I had known that most prevalent were the western winds: a nor’wester was the most common and the most threatening as it frequently brought colder air and even storms.  A southwestern wind was warmer and less furious, in my experience and, indeed, it had no notoriety.  An Eastern wind seemed strange.  I did some investigation and discovered that large air masses moving east to west occurred with counter-clockwise lows and clockwise highs, in terms of air pressure.  All counter-clockwise moving air masses in the Northern Hemisphere are low pressure systems, laden with moisture.  All clockwise, are high pressure systems, cool and clear.  The centres of these circular air masses are oriented north and south, more or less.  The high pressure circle would carry Arctic air from the Hudson’s Bay area to Welland and Fonthill.  The low would carry moist warm air from the Caribbean Gulf and the Gulf Stream areas of the USA Atlantic coast.  A slight shift North or South would mean a change from cloudy, rainy, humid conditions to cool, clear, blue sky conditions.

A look at a weather map should confirm the conclusion that the bicycle-like formation of double circular revolving air masses does exist.  Weather reports on television often show a North American map with the high and low pressure areas.  During an East wind situation, the BICYCLE should be clearly visible.  Frequently one is only shown the northern air mass or the southern air mass depending on weather the reporting broadcast is Canadian or American.  Newspapers more often show the weather map of the entire North American continent wherein the BICYCLE should be clearly visible.  Rarely is there a BICYCLE if the wind is from the West.  I, personally, have never seen it, but I have speculated that the weather maps showing the entire Western Hemisphere which would include both sides of the Equator, of course, reverses the situation of the North: the high pressure areas in the Southern Hemisphere would be counter-clockwise and the low, clockwise, I think…  In the face of Global Warming, where the CO₂ levels are now the highest they have been for 10,000 or more years, there may be other surprises about which I have no knowledge.

Since this is a new concept to most people, I believe it doesn’t have a Proper Name.  I propose we call it the BICYCLE PHENOMEN, or, if no one objects, THE DIZZYIZZYZ BICYCLE PHENOMENON.   Do I hear any seconds to my proposal for this name?  Are there any objections?  Are there any counter-proposals?  Is silliness a good description for this essay?

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 25, 2013

[the day the 

GREAT SAMARITAN

A True Story

By Izzy Ess of Wilderness

Today, I bicycled from Welland to Port Robinson.  In the old days, I would have made it to Niagara Falls, Ontario and New York, connected by the beautiful Rainbow Bridge.  After four or five years of not bicycling, I’ve had to learn again what routes are makeable and which are not.  So far, this year, in which I may be giving up my car because of limited, fixed incomes, my bicycling has increased gradually, to where I could pedal to Port Colbourne and back without a problem.  Today, exhausted, I was walking my bicycle on Cataract Road and a man stopped who told me that his dad once tried to ride to Vineland and come back and had to call for help.  He wondered if me or my bicycle were disabled and if I needed a lift.  He was a life-saver.  He had an open trailer and a massive, friendly dog and an understanding of such folks as I, aged and remembering the times gone by without always recognizing that the days gone by are definitely gone.

There was a time, when I could pedal back and forth to Buffalo and Welland.  In fact, I did it during the Taste of Buffalo and was able to get to downtown, before the noontime eating frenzy and return before the evening meal in Welland.  I dream of it and of the tales I told, including that it took 3 hours to get to Buffalo and 6 hours to get back.  It wasn’t because fatigue set in.  It is because Buffalo is downhill from Welland, about a drop of 50 to 100 feet, as part of the escarpment drop from Welland to Lake Erie.  The biggest drop is at Niagara Falls, some 200 feet, where the water changes from being level with the Niagara River to being level with Lake Ontario.  This drop of some 250 feet is what is negotiated by the Locks along the new Welland Canal and the Locks along the old Erie Canal from Buffalo to the Hudson River, outside the city of Manhattan, NY.  Both the canals competed at one time, but I think the Welland Canal and St. Lawrence Seaway systems have won out.  Both canals are able to bring ocean liners from the Atlantic Ocean to Lake Superior and connect with systems that allow transportation to the West coast of USA and Canada.  For example, a connection at Chicago, at one time, would have connected into the famous railroad systems which would come together at Chicago and the famous airplane cargo systems which flew out of Midway and O’Hare airports.

To get from Welland to Niagara Falls, Ontario, one must somehow cross or go under the New Welland Canal, the 4^th version of this Waterway, the 5^th shelved for the time being by the powers that be.  Today, I chose, or it was chosen for me because of extensive improvements being made to the 406, to use the underpass on Main Street, a big hill down and an equally big hill up.  I wanted to get to Port Robinson but the sign, wrongly, said, “Exit to Port Robinson Road Forbidden until it is unblocked on Sunday, June 23.  Fines for Speeding doubled if there are men on the construction site.  Please drive defensively.  Beware of overhead wires!”  The hills, up and down, I could not negotiate safely without getting off the bicycle and walking it.  Going down was easy; walking up was very hard for me.  It was getting hot and windy and the going was slow.  On my slow walk under the canal, I mentally recorded several objects which made up my mystery.  It was an actual mystery as I, myself, didn’t know the answer.  Let me list the objects that I found and found curiously interesting:

(1)Three dead snails.

(2)Five live brown beetles that looked like small cockroaches.

(3)The skeleton of a small snake almost making a figure eight.

(4)A brown and white ragged blanket with a bulky something or other in its folds, about the size of a 5 year old child or a fair sized Rottweiler, with what looked like a head and a body and thin, closely held, limbs.

a.   An oily, dead bird about the size of a swallow.

b.  The shiny bezel of an expensive silver or platinum watch.

c.   A greasy, dirty, steel, ball-bearing about 3 mm. in diameter.

d.  A soggy, empty package of Players Light.

e.   A plastic, closed bottle with about an ounce of Cola remaining.

f.    Two flattened, empty, plastic soda bottles.

g.   A nest of about a dozen small cockroaches.

h.  Some small red ants as I walked up the hill after the tunnel.

i.    A large, empty triangular box of Toblerone Chocolate, of Berne, Switzerland, with four languages on it, French, English, Italian and German.  [I worked right next door to the Toblerone Factory for two years.  Every time I opened my basement laboratory window, I would breathe in the rich smell of dark chocolate, thereby gaining another pound or two, in weight, altogether 50 lbs. in 2 years…

j.    A child’s old, left running shoe, without the shoelaces.

k.  Three ground level doors to pipes or stairwells probably leading to and from the bottom or inside of the new canal.

l.    Huge bulrushes in the ridges of the hill, beside the sidewalk, indicating that this land was underwater for some time, perhaps part of the Welland Canal.  The chambers to which these stairwells and tunnels led were possibly still useable and might have been used for living or office quarters of workers living and working on site for a certain period of time, perhaps in the early 20^th Century, when the New 4^th Welland Canal was built.

m.A ladies lipstick case with a tiny nub of the remaining lipstick, coloured a reddish, deep orange, a rather sensuous modern colour.

n.  A discarded warning sign for drivers, “Construction Zone.  Slow Down!”  The new sign in red, read, “New.  Speed Limit 50.”

It took about an hour to negotiate the double hills to get to the beginning of Hwy. 140, which leads to Port Colbourne.  The massive construction project will extend the 406 to become the new route to Port Colbourne, making the 406 a four lane, divided highway form Ste. Catharines to Port Colbourne, skirting the edge of the City of Welland and basically making the land connection from Lake Erie to Lake Ontario, to match the water’s connection by the New Welland Canal.  By the time I bicycled East to Port Robinson, I was exhausted by the effort, the rising heat and the wind in my face.  I stopped frequently to rest and relieve the pressure on my buttocks.  I had brief conversations with bicyclists and local residents, out for a walk or just sitting on their porches, staying out of the heat.

I’ve always enjoyed the ferry trip across the Canal at Port Robinson.  There used to be a bridge that linked the east side to the west side of the town divided forever by the Canal.  About ten years ago, the bridge was knocked down by an ocean liner by someone’s error in judgement.  The town became a ghost town but has somewhat recovered in the past three to four years.  A bar-restaurant, the only one in town, has been re-opened as a favourite drinking hole for the town and surrounding agricultural lands.  The improved roads and the small ferry for people and bicycles have done the trick.  It seems to be a nice quiet place in which to rear children and be convenient to the many farms and factories in the area.

Once on the other side of the Welland Canal, I found that the construction on the 406 made it again a limited access to my favourite paths and routes.  By the time I got to Cataract Road, I was exhausted, and must have looked it.  My life-saver, Paul, took me right to my door, for which I was very grateful.  The Rose Parade was going on today and Lincoln Street was partially blocked.  Luckily, my apartment house was accessible.  Paul might have had some difficulties getting to his destination inasmuch as the parade was intersecting his intended route.  I hope he’s not stranded somewhere.

On Monday, I was relating this story to some folks at Tim Horton’s enjoying morning coffee and donuts and/or breakfast.  Two men immediately asked me about Paul and then said they knew him and his family.  They confirmed that he was a beloved member of his family and that he was particularly kind and gentle and had the personality that would have made him a Great Samaritan and a Special Teacher for Special Education kids.  They also knew about his keen interest in small pieces of wood which he refinished and reassembled to create beautiful furniture.  They confirmed that it would just like Paul to get me to my front door, even if it meant going out of his way.

Well, Paul, whose name I still haven’t remembered, wherever you are today and whatever you’re doing, I’m sure you’re doing it with kindness and generosity, skill and diligence.  I’m delighted with our encounter and feel I made you think of your father, who, like me, takes bicycle rides that are not feasible, but do it anyway.  Thank you again.  May all your problems be little ones…

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 25, 2013