grey areas

THE GREY AREAS

OF KNOWLEDGE

Psychoanalysis XXIII Or XXIV

Wherein I Admit, I Don’t

Know For Sure What’s

Going To Happen Next

By Izzy Ess Of Uncertain-Ness

The Diagnostic and Statistical authorative Manual of the Psychiatric Disorders, the DSM, has had many changes which include a huge dismissal of the personality disorders as being pathological.  That is, just everybody has a personality. but they are now deemed as descriptive rather than actual diseases.  Though, a person with an Obsessive and Compulsive Personality is as dangerous to me with my frank Histrionic Personality, that he might as well be pointing a loaded German Luger at my brain, his personality does not make him ill.  Au contraire, most leaders of the companies and countries, that we all know, have this personality.  An obsessive-compulsive person behaves as if he is absolutely certain that his way of life is perfect and if others don’t do what he does, they are stupid or incapable of making it, successfully.

Please look around you, folks.  Your leaders are perfectionists who are certain they are always right and that their successes are in large part due to their perfectionism.  An artistic person, like myself, knows full well that people with artistic bents are the innovators, putting things together that have never been together, to produce delightful firsts, like iPods and exciting music and other things of beauty.  The grip of internet is so pervasive these days, it is hard to find a single person who is not affected by the world wide web, an artistic great invention by a person, and persons, who have not tendencies to be compulsive or obsessive, eh?

I admit that I am being black and white about this personality division between the good guys and the bad guys.  Now that I am five and seventy, I realize that most people are just mixed with some perfectionism and some histrionic tendencies to tell the stories that are basically lies, which I dub, “interesting stories, sagas and the chronicles of people who are mixed up with regard to their own personalities and the personalities of kith and kin, eh?”  It’s as true in Mandalay, as it is afloat on Hudson’s Bay, I think, or in Timbuktu or Xanadu, I figure, see?

Now that I am so completely so confused about my life and what it means, I think I’ve passed it on to you, my dearest readers, who must be the patient people in the world, just waiting to hear whatever does come next, which is just like me.  I keep turning pages, in my mind, thinking that the answers will be coming for the Truth, which never comes!  What comes is just a bit more confusing than what came before.  My stubborn personality thinks that the Truth will come eventually, but it never does.  Each day, I do discover that there are more questions than there are those answers that could satisfy me, and pass it all on to you, so finally, eh?  Well, finally has not yet come and may not come before I sing that final song that gets me into Heaven or my Hell that I’ve created for myself right here on Earth.  If I could arbitrarily pick some dogma from the millions that are out there for me, then life would be much easier and full of peace and happiness.

A friend of mine, just slightly older was “redeemed in his choice of dogmata, as a Born-Again good person at an age of 32, when at 32 I had my first completely nervous breakdown and almost killed myself to escape the mess that I had made just for myself.  On the other hand, my slightly older friend has had a life of Peace and great Tranquility since he was inspired by a strange light that would in my mind have been an attack of panic.  I’ve felt such panic many times and have learned that they are quite genetic and so driven by a “chemical imbalance” over which I had such ineffective tools to stop.  Over the years with a lot of help, I have some tools that help a lot through cognitive and the behavioural good modifying therapy to which I’ve been exposed by expert psychotherapists.

Dear Reader, this is, for better or for worse, or some grey areas of uncertain knowledge,

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

November 16, 2013