JOHN
& FRIENDS
A
Silly Tale Of Four People
With
The Same Personality
Who
Are Successful In Making
It,
Completely Happily,
Despite
Of, AND Because
Of,
Their RIGIDITY, Eh?
By Izzy Ess Of Happiness,
However Awkward It’s Attainable
The
obsessive counter, that was John Jedidiah Montréal, was known to count his
pre-allotted number toilet paper squares and every penny that he’d ever earned
and spent. He was meticulous in his
dress and never had a date because it was too messy with all that sex and
sharing of some sticky fluids. Besides,
no woman he had ever known, had owned a personal valet or standing rack to keep
his clothes from getting creased or dusty, if he had decided to shed all his
clothes and quite immaculate underwear to have some messy sex with her. He lived alone in an apartment which had a
hanging clock in every room to ensure he kept his schedule quite exactly, as
he’d planned it, for the day and night.
On
his birthday, 12/12/12, he did invite a prostitute to his apartment so long as
she produced a letter from her doctor that she was free of all diseases. Besides, he did demand that she stay only two
full hours and was quite obligated to clean up the mess that they would make
upon his rubber-sheeted bed. He did
demand that she be silent and to muffle any screams that she may make, or he
may make, throughout the course of intercourse.
He paid her just exactly $444.44 for those two hours, and would add a
tip of $44.44, if she did all he asked for.
She had to lie quite still while he would stimulate himself to get a
long and hard and throbbing full erection and insert it into her just after
squeezing into her a tube of triple antibiotic ointment for safety and for some
lubrication which she would not make spontaneously. He would pump her like a piston from a
Cadillac until he would deposit his small load of salty stuff inside of
her. Then he would just insist she take
a shower with him so that she could cleanse his body, head to toe.
In
the last two years, he had had no luck with younger prostitutes who would have
no part of his routine. Some older women
went for it, one time, and the next year he did vow to pick quite an older
prostitute for his dull yearly birthday day routine.
And,
so it was on 12/12/72, that John Jedidiah Montréal picked the seventy year old,
Ms. Martha Mary Masterson, a veteran of the streets of Montréal, and in
particular Reveillente Boulevard, with whom to plod through his own fiftieth,
the big five-oh! Ms. Martha Mary was understanding
and did give her John an extra lap dance for his birthday. John appreciated this and said she didn’t
have to stay to clean up, but our Mary was a clean-freak and a germaphobe. She said she would feel better if she did
clean-up her John, but also, she would feel so grand if she could pinch his
cheek and do his laundry and his dishes and scrub down his bathroom from the
bathtub to the toilet and the sink and cupboards, there.
John
was enthralled and asked our Martha if she wouldn’t mind just living with him
for a month and he offered her the room and board for $250.50 in Canadian
Currency. He said the sex was up to
her. Ms. Martha didn’t think about it
much and took the offer just so long as she invited Jezebel Zlotkowski to join
them every Thursday night for Cribbage and a case of beer. John reluctantly accepted the conditions of
Ms. Martha’s next employment with him with the proviso that he be allowed to
watch the Thursday Night NFL game with his friend, Ezekiel Montgomery. A deal was struck and Martha kissed him on
the cheek and just immediately wiped off her residue with alcoholic pledges
that she kept for just this type of germaphobic danger.
Marie
move in with her small pile of clothes and neatly put them in a drawer that
John had cleaned himself. On Thursday,
his Ezekiel and her own Jezebel came over in the afternoon for conversation and
the advanced clean preparation for a game of cribbage and the Thursday NFL
extravaganza. As it turned out, all four
enjoyed the cribbage and the NFL and surprisingly, the four of them did pile
upon the rubber-sheeted bed for sex. It
was amazing to them all that it was so enjoyable that they made plans for
Saturday and every Tuesday for the remainder of the month. In no time, all four were comfortably living
with our John and cleaning all the time as well as sanitizing each and every
item in the whole apartment. John’s bed
was big enough for all of them and accommodations for such sex as was quite
possible to have. They all remarked how
much it was enjoyable.
The month extended to another month and then a half a year
and then a more or less completely permanent clean household for the four of
them, together. They pooled all monies
and they carefully invested in some super-annuation bonds which gave them a big
income for the four of them who then retired.
Their income did increase because they shared just everything and anon they
all were able to retire to Newfoundland and enjoy the ocean tides and rugged
coast, forever, if they lived forever.
In fact, they all had grand longevity and died within a week of each
other, much happier than pigs in poop, cleaned up and sterilized, of course.
THE END
© Izzy Sommers, MD
Welland, Canada
November 19, 2013
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