indian princess

PRINCESS POCOMOKO

A Fictional Account

Of Some Canadian

Native Peoples With

Two Jokes At The End,

One Of Which Is

Original, I Think.

By Izzy Ess Of Happiness

Our Princess Pocomoko was extremely beautiful, despite her Mohawk haircut and her almost so completely shave-ed head, exactly like the noble Chief that she adored with all her Heart and Soul.  Last week, Chaloupee, the bold Chieftain patted both her buns of her cute derriere and suggested she meet him next week in his own wigwam by the River of Champlain for a night and Game of Grabbing Buns, the kind of Foreplay that might lead to Love.  Our Princess lubricated freely for a week and then she entered the big wigwam of Chaloupee.  He was busy with another maiden of thirteen that he was instructing on the Art of Love.  She paused and watched him use his manhood to do plumbing of her depths to ascertain the fitting was inadequate for the Chief who was quite well known for the biggest manhood in the region, eh?  Pocomoko had already tried her honeypot on other men and boys and had already seen that she had a bigger honeypot than all the women in the area.

Chaloupee did dismiss his younger student and smiled at Princess Pokomoko and asked her to prepare herself for disappointment.  But, the Chief was pleasantly surprised that there was wonderment in Polomoko’s honeypot.  He grabbed her buns and lifted her unto his strong and long erection and he settled her upon himself with ease.  He smiled and smiled until he shot his wad inside of her and screamed so loud he woke up all the other squaws in the entire neighbourhood of wigwams, by the Champlain River, eh?  When he simmered down, he did declare, “My Pocomoko, I want you to be my Priestess and to live with me in my own wigwam to make some Magic for us both for ever and forever!”  Our Pokomoko did declare that she was satisfied and that she’d stay with him forever to make Magic for the both of them.

So suddenly, two squaws ripped down the entrance of the wigwam and attacked the Princess Pokomoko.  They were jealous of her honeypot.  The Princess did defend herself quite adequately, punching both the squaws in their own bellies and reducing them to kneeling.  The Chief then pushed them to the floor and mounted them with vigour ‘til they screamed for help.  Two warriors arrived and took over for the Chief who had spent himself and was exhausted.  Then the warriors dragged off the women to their own respective tents and kept on punishing them with repeated mountings and a lot of intercourse until they were subdued and satisfied.

The Chief then fell asleep atop his Princess and snored so loudly that he reassured the other squaws that he was finished for the night.  Our Pokomoko was a little disappointed but she also fell asleep.  In the morning, they resumed their intercourse and did continue for three days of sexual activity.

It happened that all three squaws were impregnated through the night and knew the ritual.  They each named a big animal and each of the brave impregnators were required to go and kill that animal and prepare their hides.  The chief was asked to kill a hippopotamus while the other braves were asked to kill a tiger and an elephant.  This meant that each of them did cross the Oceans to coral these animals in Africa and Asia and bring them back for blessings by the squaws and killing ny the warriers.  The hides were thusly ready for the squaws when they went into labour.  On the hippopotamus, a pair of twins was born and on the tiger, a baby boy and on the elephant, a baby girl.  This meant, THE SQUAW ON THE HIPPOPOTOMUS WAS EQUAL TO THE SQUAWS ON THE OHER TWO HIDES!

I’m sorry, my dear readers.  I apologize for this old joke.  It does not require a hearty laugh; it only gets a groan, on most occasions.  But since you are of a mood to hear another groaner of the allegorical variety, this is original:

In this particular camp gathering, there had been those who had a Jewish persuasion, somehow or other.  Each son was born and named with those who had just died and were revered.  So one son was delivered just after the three deaths of Hee-Hee, Hoo-Hoo and Anne Hathaway, revered uncles, aunts and distant cousins.  So he was dubbed Hee-Hoo-Hath in honour of the spirits of the recently deceased.  At the time of his Bar-Mitzvah, it was determined that he was not balding and the hair atop his head was not so thin.  In fact, it was extremely thick as ascertained by the Rabbi-Witch-Doctor and Holy Man, named Golden Feather.  Moreover, the new man must demonstrate his strength by throwing his first stone in to the River, nearby, a stone which was retrieved by the new man’s father-warrior.  This was called the First Stone.  Unfortunately, the Rabbi-Witch-Doctor did have a lisp, a lithp, but he stepped up and did the ceremony as everyone in the settlement of wig-wams paid attention.  The Holy Man stepped up to check if the new man was thinning and he commanded, “LET HEE-HOO-HATH NEVER THINNED CATHT THE FIRTHT THTONE!”

Oh, forgive me, my dear reader, I could not help myself.  Jesus said it first, I do believe, when shielding Mary Magdalene, the Prostitute, from stones that may be thrown at her to kill her, a common ritual stern punishment, prescribed for prostitutes, in the time of Jesus, and from the time of Moses, who wrote Deuteronomy and the other books of the Old and Ancient Pentateuch, atop Mount Sinai, with the help of God, Himself.  Moses had a speech impediment and lisped, I do believe, so it was Aaron who delivered all of Moses’ proclamations.  The actual words of Jesus in the Gospels was, LET HE WHO HAS NEVER SINNED, CAST THE FIRST STONE.!”

It’s time for me to eat and nap, so I must say Amen and Hallelujah!  And, this is

THE END

© Izzy Sommers, Md

Wetland, Kanata

November The Twentieth,

Two Thousand Thirteen, Eh?