Act One of Melinda-Vladimir
A Tale of One-night Stands
By Izzy Ess of Antitussiveness
Melinda Melincoff coughed
right on Vladimir O’Bramovicz’s brand new wig and sent it flying off his head
toward the ventilation duct which was adjusted to suck air out from Lenin’s Auditorium
in which the Opera Saint Petersburg was doing La Bohemian da Mikvah. She distracted everyone by taking off her
blouse and lacy bra and doing a Fandango in the aisle. The orchestra stopped playing and obeying
signals by Maestro Serge Rothmanovitch, began to play the Anthem of the
Revolutionary War. The tenors dressed in
peasant clothing chimed right in while all sopranos did a stunning striptease. Vladimir’s large wig blocked off the ducts
and soon the auditorium began to rise in heat, inducing everyone, including
Vladimir, to sweat like pigs. Reviews in
Muskrat’s Vochenblatt were quite effusive and attracted hundreds to the week’s
performances. Melinda and her Vladimir
were hired by the ensemble to repeat performances for months to come. Melinda’s breasts were featured in the
magazines and Vladimir’s bald shiny head was featured in the sports reviews for
bowling balls. Serge proposed to Ms.
Melinda while three tenors propositioned Vladimir.
THE END
© izzy sommers, md
Welland, Canada
August 1, 2013
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