MS.
FLORENCE NIGHTNDAY
A fictional short story
By Izzy Ess of Sexiness
Ms.
Florence Nightnday refused to buckle under to the staff at Holy Roman Nursing
Home for Wealthy Catholic Patrons, in West Fineton, Massachusetts. She’d been caught again in bed with Henry
Worthington, age 97. She was 95. Reported by a relative, Maude Furstenberg,
who said she did investigating for the new improved West Fineton Sentinel, Ms.
Nightnday proclaimed the nursing home was not a place to pick up potent men. She did complain that it had taken her an
hundred tries before she found a man who had the potency to make her
happy. Henry was a darling but he
couldn’t give it all he had because his heart was failing. She said she had to do him sitting up or
standing, otherwise he’d get too short of breath. An orderly had turned her down for intercourse,
but he agreed to trade a blow job for a fingering. Maude Furstenberg did not report the story to
the Sentinel although she got a lot of mileage for it in the briefing room.
Maude approached the supervisor, Marilyn Deerfield,
who smiled and said, “Your uncle wasn’t harmed at all. In fact, he seemed well satisfied and
anticipated seeing Nightnday, again. I
trust you won’t print the story or embarrass us.” “Of course, I won’t. It’s not a murder or a theft. It’s just consensus which doesn’t really
attract readers. If she’d raped him,
that would be reportable, I’m sure. Are
there any other women who harass the men for sex?”
Ms. Deerfield smiled and said, “Why yes, we do. There’s Amy Tan who wears a silk kimono and
she flashes all the men to see if she can get a rise from them. And then there’s Gertrude Weinstein who will
only lay the older Jewish men; she feels that this would be her ticket to the
other side. There’s a kind of Jewish
ritual that needs to be performed, with blessings.” Maude calculated the percentages. “That’s less than 3% of women for the
population of about a hundred men. What
do all the other women do for fun?” The
quick response was, “They are just waiting to be taken up to Heaven, evacuated,
squeaky clean and sterilized…”
THE END
© izzy sommers,
md
Welland, Canada
September
1, 2013
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