Thursday, 19 September 2013

Tales of Vienna



HIMMELMANN AND  MESSERSCHMITT
A Tale of Tail from Old Vienna
By Izzy Ess of Cosiness

Composer and conductor of the Hintermeier Orchestra of Archduke Meier Hinter, of the Court of Wienerwald, Johann von Himmelmann attempted to improve on Maestro Hayden and his over hundred symphonies by writing and conducting his own century of symphonies and then another hundred for good measure.  Publishers in Old Vienna did refuse to publish them by saying they were garbage and not worthy of the fine tradition in the Viennese milieu.  No publishers in other cities would consider taking them when Old Vienna turned them down.  Johann, deflated and frustrated, became quite impotent, which didn’t please his wife or mistresses, the Polish cellist or the Czech percussionist.  Consulting doctors, he was given small amounts of belladonna, deadly nightshade, and some digitalis leaf from foxglove.  Johann felt a little better but his impotence was worse which chased away Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, Ms. Olga and Maria, mistresses and wives for several years.

Copelia Messerschmitt, his second saxophonist, was quite sympathetic and she acted like a little girl upon his bouncing knee.  She wore short dresses and no underwear and wore her hair in pigtails.  She looked in fact, not more than 8, except for her large mammories and pubic bush, which would have dated her so differently.  Dass Jungfrau Messerschmitt war unglucklich ein Jungfrau nicht…

One day in May, Herr Himmelmann was sitting in his office in the Meier Hinter Halle Musiker, just crying in his beer.  He had enough to feed his family and shelter them quite comfortably while his wives and he would educate them.  Certainly he could be had by any woman who had eyes for his quite handsome face and pudgy body.  Certainly, his wives and friends were kind to him when he had had his potency.  “But, now I feel inadequate and not quite manly.  Only childlike Ms. Copelia does it for me now.  I love her cupid face and lovely breasts and that big bush is big enough to crawl into.  Of course, I do.  Amazingly, Copelia gets my shaft real big and hard and can make it squirt.  And, she just smiles and laughs and has a ball with me, although she doesn’t get a climax.  Copelia Messerschmitt has told me not to be alarmed; she’s never had a climax. She doth lubricate and squirts a lot but never has a proper spasm of her inner pelvic private parts.”  Ms. Messerschmitt appeared and came toward him with her skirt hiked high above her waist, revealing her amazing growth of pubic hair.  She came and sat upon his knee and he began to bounce her up and down.  She squealed delightfully and went for Johann’s manhood which already had expanded to a decent size, which satisfied him that he was a man.  Copelia fished inside his bulky trousers and she fished him out into the air where she just licked it and massaged it ‘til it squirted on her face and breasts and abdomen.  “Oh Johann!” she beseeched him.  “Put it into me so deep it won’t come out ‘til Wednesday!”  She turned around and pointed her cute derriere at Johann who smiled from ear to ear as he grabbed both her hips and sat her down upon his lap while he impaled her deeply.  She squealed and wiggled artfully and he responded with a larger wad of semen, so conveniently all delivered deep inside of her.

Despite his wide experience with women he had no idea how to fix his lover’s problem of her anhedonia.  It wasn’t actually a non-response, it was the absence of the classic climax that did bother both of them.  Ms. Messerschmitt had asked her mother who was quite unhelpful.  She had also asked a violinist who was known to yell and scream when she had intercourse, but she was quite uncertain what the trigger was that so excited her to achieve climax.  She doth thought it was the man’s large manhood that would do the job since what she saw as size seemed to excite her more.  Knowledge of anatomy was hard to come by and the physiology of sex had not yet been evolved as scientific.  They had no idea that the Masters Johnson pair of researchers would not appear until the 1950’s, an hundred years or more henceforth.  Johann had chosen not to reveal his feelings of inadequacy to his male or female kith or kin with attempts to answer questions of the pathophysiology of sex.  Besides, he really didn’t give a damn; so long as he could get his rocks off, he was satisfied.  He did admit that he had smidgeons of some curiosity about his cherub girlfriend, Ms. Copelia Messerschmitt.  She turned him on when other women were not up to it and she exuded both the innocence of youth and grand equipment of maturity.

This day, she asked if he would check her bush out for a little something that was stimulating.  He complied and slowly searched her bush of pubic hair until he found a kind of penis, very small and hidden just between her lower lips.  He touched it with his finger tip and she just jumped.  It felt divine.  He licked it with his tongue and Messerschmitt began to moan and squeal delightfully as she experienced an orgasm, and then another and another, while she squirted forth her juices and she writhed and wiggled with delight.  It turned the Maestro on so much, he squirted there and then.  “Aha!” he screamed.  “Eureka, meine liebschen!  We have found the key to happiness, at last.  Lie down right here and we shall make a 69!  We’ll lick each other ‘til the cows come home!”

And so it went just every day.  Johann and his Copelia gave up everything including music for the pleasures of the night.  They did abandon all their kith and kin and moved together to a small chalet near Grindlwald, in Switzerland.  They learned to yodel while they made their passions sing.  They reached the high Cs and the low Cs and all those white and black keys, in between.  They even found a Chopin polka with an “oom pah pah,” and waltzing by the Junior Strauss.  Had Johann bothered to transcribe the music of his Love for his diminutive, though beautifully rounded out, Copelia, Old Vienna would have clamoured to release it as the Music of the New Millennium.  It would have made Johann and his Copelia fortunes for their “Most Romantic Story of All Time.”  If modern Prophets dared to write a Third or Fourth New Testament, this story would be deemed the “Template Allegorique” for a Modern Eden’s Garden with, of course, Originality of Sin.  Amen and Hallelujah!

THE END

© izzy sommers, md
Welland, Canada
September 18, 2013

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