EASY COME, EASY GO

THE BEGINNING AND THE END

A Semi-Biblical Allegory of Humanity

By Izzy Ess of Hopefulness

Benjamin Cook painted, idly, a soccer ball to represent a globe of the world.  He was delighted to find that the sixty points and ninety lines were in specific places that would make a soccer ball, if seen from the outer atmosphere, from, say, the moon, or from a satellite encircling the Earth.  Cook is an artist and an engineer.  Often he combined the two disciplines, to make unusual pieces of art, including the tree he constructed with steel girders by putting the girders of diminishing lengths and widths as random branches originating from the huge steel trunk.  He wondered if the idea of making Earth into a soccer ball would be an artistic feat, or an engineering feat, or both, or something else entirely, like a stabilizer for the movement of tectonic plates, obviating the occurrences of earthquakes, volcanoes and even wars and border skirmishes?  One of his students, Suzy Yamaha, who fell in love with Cook, her PhD mentor, some time ago, was listening as he mused about the soccer ball.  She took a chance and offered her input, saying, “It could work!  I’m working on a strong alloy of steel and carbon, aluminium and zinc, as you had suggested.  It’s got the super-strength of steel combined with durability and some flexibility to make this work.  What say you, my dear Professor?  I could make dinner at my place and we could discuss this further, afterwards.  I’m free this evening.  Are you?”

Professor Ben was well aware of Suzy’s beauty and her great intelligence.  He had fantasized about a union, but had hesitated on the grounds that it would be unethical for him to meet with her outside the walls of this great University, the University of Universal Truths, at Xanadu.  He thought, “Oh, what the Hell!  I have nothing to lose at this point.  I have tenure here and can’t be fired even if I have a dalliance with Suzy Yamaha.  Besides, she’s just another adult seeking company with another adult, eh?  Other professors have their pillow students!  Why can’t I?”  Out loud, he said, “I’m free this evening, Suzy Yamaha.  What’s for dinner?”  Suzy Smiled and said, “I hadn’t yet decided, my dear Professor Ben.  Do Koreans like steak?”  “Indeed, they do.  I like mine medium rare with lots of butter and bacon and some blood oozing out.  Do you want me to pick up anything for us?  Do Japanese like Beaujolais?”  “Why yes, professor, this particular Japanese woman loves Beaujolais.  How ‘bout picking up some wine?  Your choice, although it’s usually dry reds that go with steak.”  “It just so happens I have a nice bottle, or two, of Beaujolais, from France, at home.  I’ll pick some up on my way over.  OK?”  “I’d prefer if I came to your place and tried it out before you bring it over.  Have you any bottles already uncorked?”  “Why yes, I do.  And, please do come with me to my place here on campus where I have a lovely little house that surely could use brightening up by someone like yourself!”  “It’s a date!” said Suzy with élan.  I’ll just grab my coat and meet you in the parking lot.  I think you drive a blue Mercedes, don’t you?  I drive a red old Jaguar.  I’ll follow you to your campus house.”  “I’ll grab my coat, too, and meet you downstairs at the parking lot.  And, I’ll give you directions to get to my house.  OK?”  “OK!” said Suzy, promptly and they both left, their coats forgotten on the racks near the door of the laboratory in which they both worked and studied.  Suzy Yamaha had tailed the good professor, many times.  She knew, very well, which house was his.

Of course, dear readers of my blog, they never got to Suzy’s place for steaks.  Professor Ben made both of them some delicious three egg omelets and Suzy stayed the night on Professor Cook’s large pillow.  Of course, they achieved union, which they both enjoyed.  And, they managed to unite a second, and a third, time before arising to get breakfast.  It was another omelet, without the wine.  They united, anew, underneath the kitchenette.  Professor Cook prepared some very strong espresso with their orange juice and toast and omelet.  Frankly, they didn’t discuss much about the soccer ball idea.  They did discuss how beautifully fit their bodies were and how they fit so well together, enjoined and quite lovingly entwined.  They promised each other to continue meetings at each other’s places to discuss the soccer ball as well as Suzy’s overall great fitness.

About a month went by without much discussion of soccer balls or alloys.  Making grant proposals were the scourge of academia.  Suzy needed job security and money, so she was the first to openly discuss a grant proposal for them which could end up as a project for her PhD dissertation.  They brought the proposal to the Heads of the Departments of Mathematics and Physics.  It was approved immediately as long as both Heads would get their names on the eventual scientific paper, or papers, that resulted from successful completion of the project.  The University of Xanadu had not the funds to support the grant but the Steel and Cable Company of Xanadu, XSC, might be interested, suggested the Heads of both departments.  At presentation time, the CEOs of XSC, were just delighted with the proviso that two employees of their own could actively participate.  Ben and Suzy acquiesced.  The Xanadu concern then put their stamp on it and provided a bank account which could be accessed up to a million dollars, to construct a working model of the Soccer Ball on Earth, dubbed “Pele’s Passion Play,” by Suzy.  Benjamin abbreviated this to “PPP,” pronounced, “Pee-Pee-Pee.”  Even the executives at Xanadu were smiling.

XSC sent over for approval, two young scientists, a physicist and mathematician.  Ben and Suzy were delighted by the candidates and sent XSC a note to make it official.  Daniel Durer and Esther Weissenstein were tennis partners and secret lovers outside the walls of Xanadu Steel and Cable Company.  They admitted later to Suzy and Ben, that their love-making was sometimes done in the broom closets of the Company and in the basement boiler rooms.  Both were PhDs, Dan in Physics and Esther in Mathematics.  The four of them ate lunches together in the cafeteria of Xanadu University.  They’d found a large enough broom closet on the second floor to be their rendezvous for love-making as an effing foursome.  They suppressed their grunting and their squealing with good old fashioned duct tape.  It was a sight, dear reader, to see four quite fit people, two males and two females, going at each other’s bodies with a wide piece of duct tape across their mouths.  They didn’t need the duct tape when their frequent meetings moved locations to respective campus and company homes where they were free to use their mouths for other things, including squealing, screaming and some heavy gasping.

The loving foursome decided on a double wedding and a double honeymoon in Fiji when both women found that they were pregnant.  Quel surprise!  The four of them managed artfully to put the trip to Fiji on their grant budgets as a place they needed to check out for one of 60 places that would support three cables and a post for the project, Pee-Pee-Pee.  None of the project watchdogs picked this nuance up…

Suzy and Esther didn’t know exactly who the fertile father was.  They decided quietly to not say anything until the “premature” birth of the babies.  Both babies had decidedly slanted eyes and slightly yellow skin.  It was obvious that Ben was the father of both of the children but Dan and Ben decided to keep quiet and to try again the next time to get Esther and Suzy pregnant with Dan’s semen.  To no avail…  The second set of babies looked a lot like Ben.  Dan just shrugged his shoulders and saluted Benjamin Cook as the super stud amongst them…  both women also kept their counsel and had their tubes tied off completely and decidedly.  Two more babies were enough to extend this friendly extended family to a total of eight with no attention paid to actual paternity.  They all knew the truth and so would anyone who first observed them at a University picnic, or a Company outing, in the beautiful, surrounding countryside of Xanadu.  They were a Team and wanted to remain a vital Team for the duration of the Pee-Pee-Pee.  The project had already produced some interesting results.

The anchoring poles were situated in some interesting spots which always got the Team a nice inspection tour.  These spots included Paris, the home of the official Metre, and Prague, the new Jetsetter’s destination.  In Prague, the openness of the milieu was so much to their liking that the Team decided they would settle there some day, together, as a family.  Dr. and Dr. Balabanov, who lived there with their two adopted African children were enthralled by them and joined them in their private adult activities several times.  The Balabanovs were delighted when Sophia Balabanov became pregnant for the first time and bore her husband twin sons who looked a lot like Ben.  This extended a potential extended family to fourteen, exactly the number of lines in a classic Petrarch, Shakespearean or Brownian sonnette romantique.  Dan was the extended family’s poet and he delighted in composing sonnettes with all their names included.  Here’s one of his best:

Oh, here comes Suzy and her husband Ben

Who likes to be a tiger in a pen;

And, here comes Sophie and her Imre man

Who likes to make his omelettes in a pan.

Perchance they’ll venture to meet Dan and Ess

Who finds that all will eat her watercress.

Together with their eight great offspring, they

Will venture out to farms to gather hay.

If one should ask from whence they came,

They’ll all aver, “What’s in a common name?

We all arrived in Prague one day in May

And stayed to make our families, so gay!”

Here’s Michael, Daniel, Zeke and Abigail

And Benjamin and Carmen, who all sail.

The Pee-Pee-Pee went on apace and made good progress, satisfying all the folks at Xanadu and Prague who supervised and supplied all cash for all expenses.  The budget was a little higher than expected, but was acceptable to all.  The feasibility of PPP was clearly seen and so the second phase of real construction was begun.  The budget was preset at half a billion dollars.  The governments of many countries did chip in with prospects of prevention of earthquakes and wars.  The final date for Pee-Pee-Pee’s completion was not extended more than one whole year.  The final rivet was solidified in ceremonies done in Prague.

The effect of PPP was felt immediately.  All earthquakes and border skirmishes did cease within a month.  No government was planning military action and volcanoes ceased their spewing of hot ash and lava.  The family of fourteen were ecstatic as they celebrated with a private party in the home of Sophia and her Imre.  Benjamin, as usual took a leading role in satisfying all the female members, while Imre and the Dan enjoyed the women’s ecstasies.  Esther, Sophie and the Suz ensured that all the men were satisfied as equally as possible.  The children were sequestered for their games of chess and scrabble and their own beginnings of the friendliness that was abundant.

After ten whole years of Peace on Earth, an asteroid was spotted coming straight for Earth.  It had a weight approximating that of half the Earth.  Explosive rockets were sent up to change its course.  It swerved and missed the Earth but hit the moon just shattering it to smithereens sending debris in all directions, including toward Earth.  Showers of meteoric pieces hit the Earth, most harmlessly, except for one large piece of the moon which destroyed Prague and its anchoring post and three attached strong cables.  The Team of researchers were instantly vapourized and didn’t live to see the end result.  As the cables whipped around, one by one, the other anchoring posts were loosened and their cables snapped and whipped around quick viciously creating deaths and injuries to many.  In addition, the tectonic continental plates with saved up momentum started moving once again and California moved up to lie beside Alaska while the two halves of New Zealand shot toward Australia and the Chinese Mainland.  The rapid movements brought forth some strong volcanic forces and the lava underneath the Earth’s crust was released with such a force as to break the crust in several areas resulting in explosion of the Earth that could be seen a million light years away.  The pieces of the Earth were hurled in all directions, reaching other solar systems and wreaking havoc everywhere.  Jupiter and Saturn started vibrating and exploded, too.  Mercury plunged into the sun.  Venus exploded thereafter.  Mars and Neptune followed suit.  Only Pluto did remain intact.

God looked down and saw that He had another void to fill.  He shrugged his shoulders and began, anew.  He separated the void with firmaments and saw that it was good.  He created night and day, evenings and mornings, the birds in the air, the fishes in the sea and the creatures on the New Green Earth.  He didn’t hesitate to start Humanity and allow them to commit Original Sin.  He saw that everything was put in place to re-create Humanity’s beginnings and its endings.  He wished that People would stop interfering with natural phenomenon, but His optimism wasn’t high.

THE END AND THE BEGINNING

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

September 30, 2013

[Which was to have been another

Second coming but so far, no go]