Who
is Effing Whom?
A Fictional Tale of Tail
By
Izzy Ess de la Grande Finesse
Ms.
Sally Salman ate a lobster when she knew it wasn’t kosher and she barfed the
night away. The same occurred when she
ate pork or oysters or the round steak of a cow. She saw her rabbi; Rabbi Reuben Wiesenthal
did suggest her Jewish upbringing was strong and greatly influenced her vagus
nerve. He explored her abdomen and found
her shapely and attractive so he asked her to undress so he could check her
vagus nerve more thoroughly. He checked
her breasts and nipples and he found they were responsive to his touch and
Sally started moaning. He said, “See, my
dear, you have some active reflexes that make you want to blush and
tingle. Why look at what does happen
when I rub your nipples with my fingers.”
Sally watched as Rabbi Wiesenthal put her breast in his mouth and
started tonguing it so vigourously. “I
see!” said Sally as she felt herself get wet below and tingle in her nose and
fingers and her toes. The rabbi showed
her how when he did lick between her lower lips how much she squirted hot and
sticky juices at his nose. He swallowed
everything and she began to moan and have some spasms. “I see!” gasped Sally as she lay upon the
floor and spread her legs apart and lifted up her knees to let the rabbi get a
better look. The rabbi dropped his
trousers and his Jockey shorts and showed her how her reflexes affected him as
well. She was impressed as he lay down
between her legs and probed her inner honey pot with his hard instrument until
they both exploded with delight. Her
breathing was distinctly harder as she gasped for air and said, “Please rabbi,
do something to stop this tingling!”
Complying with her wishes he began to delve her depths with his hard
manhood and she gasped for air until she had a super spasm and the tingling did
subside. “Oh, thank you, my kind rabbi! I feel better with my nervousness. Will I still have anxieties when I eat food
that isn’t kosher?” “I am not too sure,
but if you wish you may consult with my friend, Doctor Stern, a chiropractor,
who has helped a lot of patients with your problem. I’ll call ahead. I’m sure that he can see you, right away.” Ms. Sally Salmon got dressed up again as
rabbi Wiesenthal did, also. She did
hurry over to the office of the chiropractor, Dr. Stern, who was expecting
her. He sent the other patients home and
made some new appointments for them. He
ushered in Ms. Sally and he silently ripped off her clothes and threw them on
the desk. And, then he took his own
clothes off and showed Ms. Sally his strong, long and hard good instrument for
curing women of their problems with the eating of non-kosher foods. Then, he bent her over and declared, “I’m
going to use my instrument to re-adjust your spine and reflexes to stop your
present problem.” She bent over more and
grasped her knees to make her derrière more prominent. The Doctor thanked her and he asked if she
could hold that great position while he checked her insides with his tool and
used his hands to rotate both her hips with rhythms that were very sexy. She could feel his gentle hands manipulate
her hips and lower back and then she felt his tool quite deep within her. Then, she felt him push his tool both in and
out with firmer pressure all the time as his big tool got even bigger and began
to throb. She squeezed him firmly with
her inner honey pot and felt so nice and tingly up and down her spine until the
great sensations reached her neck and head and she exploded with a spasm that
was unbelievable. And, the chiropractor
also made a huge deposit deep within her honeypot which she could feel as
warmth and heat. “Oh doctor, that was
great! Could you adjust my spine once
more to get the proper healing and to make the great adjustment
permanent?” “Of course, my dear. Just wait a moment while my tool warms up
again and we will surely do your spine again!”
They did it every 30 minutes for three hours and Ms. Sally felt herself
get better each and every time. Finally,
the doctor said, “I must recharge my tool for several hours, overnight. Would you desire to come right home with me
where I can get recharged and ask my brother with a bigger, harder tool to take
a turn at re-adjusting more of you, before the next day dawns?” “Of course, my dear practitioner, I will come
home with you and meet your brother with the bigger, harder tool.” The chiropractor called his brother and
requested he get ready for a tougher job than he had ever done before. When they got to his home, the brother pulled
her in and did her spine right there upon the foyer floor. Indeed, he had a bigger harder tool than both
the rabbi and the chiropractor had. Ms.
Sally Salmon had another five adjustments with improving feelings every
time. For breakfast she was given
oysters and the round steak of a cow and felt no ill effects, at all. She thanked the men involved and called the
rabbi to report that she was cured. She
showered and got dressed and left, a smile above and one below. As she did walk away toward her home, she
muttered with a smile, “The fools! I did
get laid a dozen times within a dozen hours without a fee. I think I’ll try my itchy crotch excuse to
see the dermatologist, the handsome Doctor Smythe, and do it all again tonight. I hope that they don’t mind that I have given
each of them a dose of leaping leprosy, some AIDS, strong syphilis and
hepatitis A and B and C.”
THE
END
© izzy sommers, md
Wetland, Kanata
September 30, 2013
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