Queen Venus

VENUS, NEE SERENA, QUEEN

A Heroic Saga Regarding Peace on Earth

By Izzy Ess of Happiness

Serena Jones was a winner in her womb, it seems.  She came out screaming and demanding milk from her good mother’s ample breasts and got it.  She didn’t let up ‘til she vomited, thus wasting half a breast of precious milk.  Within two minutes she was screaming once again for milk and this time finished off the other breast.  She took a little breather and then finished off the other breast.  Her mother made some formula with lots of sugar and a drop of coffee.  This amount of artificial milk, Serena finished off in record time and then demanded more.  Her mother Abigail complied while her father hurried out to get some more supplies of milk and sugar, coffee and some patches full of nicotinic acid.  Within the day, Serena had consumed all that was so prepared.  By the morning, Mrs. Abigail had made more breast milk which Serena finished off in just one hour.  The father saw the writing on the wall and had already made a lot of powdered milk, caffeine and nicotinic acid formulae.  And, so it went for six whole months while our Serena gained a hundred pounds and looked a lot like Shirley Temple did when she was five.

The doctors and the kith and kin and neighbours marvelled at the growth of Ms. Serena Jones.  No one in the whole wide world had ever seen the likes of her and her development.  By three she looked like Kidman, the Nicole from way down under and a lot like Gina Lollabrigida, when she was five.  At seven she was a doppelgänger for Sophia, the Loren.  Already publicized by Oprah Winfrey, she was a frequent guest on Ellen’s show and later, the late shows of Leno and Dave Letterman.  The parents charged $10,000 for appearances, and made a tidy sum of money for the education of Serena.  Surreptitiously, she started dating Justin Bieber, then George Clooney and then Brad Pitt while Jolie, Angelina, just stood around, not knowing what to do.  George Clooney and Brad Pitt reported that Serena Jones was more of what they thought a woman should be like and hinted that there was some sex involved.  The world of entertainment wasn’t shocked but all the rest of us threw up our hands and asked, “What is this world coming to?” just like we did when we heard stories of Monroe, the Marilyn and Janis Jackson and her brother, Michael.

Serena seemed to disappear when she was sixteen and didn’t reappear until the King of Saudi, Abdul Hussein, claimed that our Serena was his wife, his number one.  The Queen Serena was commander of the Saudi Air Force and the biggest mansion in the Middle East!  “Wow and double wow!” we all said, with an amazement at the meteoric rise of Queen Serena, Queen of Everything!  Serena was a great negotiator and she brokered peace with every nation in the Middle East, including Israel.  All border skirmishes did cease and building houses in the Palestine stopped being an important factor.  Russia, China and America did calm right down and made a solid Peace on Earth for everyone.  Even Catholics succumbed to her negotiating skills and there were rumours that the next elected Pope might be a woman.  Pope Serena was the hope of women ‘round the world.

In fact, Serena led the women of the world in just taking over of the men’s position of controllers of the populations of the world.  In India and China it was easy.  The America was not so easy but it was the trillions that Serena had at her disposal that always tipped the balance for the women.  Pope Serena led the way and organized all women to take over the control of every country in the world by bloodless economic warfare.  Russia was, in fact, the last to cede to Pope Serena’s methods of just getting women to take over operations of all countries.  Queen Katarina was the second great Tsarina of The Russian Empire.  Swiss adult females were reluctant with their history of women shunning voting privileges.  Pope Serena won the day, convincing them the feminists among the Swiss could take control, and keep thing perfect in the Schweitzerischen Alpine Country.

Unexpected was the great arrival of the Spaceship from another solar system which had landed in the Vatican.  A multilingual spokeswoman emerged and said.  “We have control of Planet Earth.  Resistance is quite futile.  We are Women of the Universe and we have brought you Empress Queen Serena who has conquered all of you!  All the planets of the Universe are now completely and indubitably ruled by women.  All you men of Earth, surrender unconditionally.  We will just eliminate you if you don’t turn in your hormones in exchange for female ones.  We are quite serious.  You have no place to hide.  Trade in your hormones for superior sets of hormones or you will be vapourized, immediately!  Come Our Venus, nee Serena.  You have served us well.  You will be rewarded and enthroned as Venus, Queen of Solar System Earth.  You have earned it darling!  Your life will be recorded in our Annals.  Come with us right now and do enjoy a trip around your Solar System.  You will be amazed at all the gadgets that we have to dominate the Universe!”

This entire event was broadcast everywhere.  In Cuba, Dr. Jekyll Hyde Gonzalez was amused.  He knew that female hormones would not change him because he had a special set of chromosomes.  He had discovered that his profile was XYY, which meant a super jock, a man’s man who would not hesitate to rape and kill members of the human race that were just mere XX women.  He alone could do some harm but he knew that he would need some help from other XYY real men.  He had the access to the World Health Organization, WHO, who had the data that he wanted.  He searched the world for XYY real men and found at least six living killer-rapists who could be undoubtedly recruited for his already formulated plan to take the Planet Earth back from the feminists of the Universe.  Surreptitiously, he  contacted five other men with XYY sex chromosomes.  They all made pacts with him to follow his bold plan.  He thought that it would have been nice to be around when Hitler, Stalin and Napoleon could have helped him.  Unfortunately there was Richard Speck who was completely shackled and quite unavailable, the first man who was found to be a killer-rapist and to have the set of chromosomes that were the XYY variety.  He guessed the killer that wreaked havoc in the London area, Sir Jack the Ripper, would have had the genetic magic formula.  And, he was pretty sure that some of the Roman Emperors were similarly likely to have been some XYY’s, especially Nero and Caligula.

Jekyll contacted the five XYY men that would be quite available.  They were quite ready to commit their lives to Jekyll’s plan to beat the Women of the Universe, including Venus, Queen of Solar System, Earth.

1.        Speck’s own first cousin, Ben Corey Speck,

2.        a descendent of the Schicklgruber family of Austria, a Johannes Spiegelmann,

3.        a Jack the Ripper’s grandson, Jack B. Ripper,

4.        his own brother Don Juan Gonzales of Chicago and

5.        Mr. Macho, television host of “For Men Alone,” in Denver, Colorado, name of Humphrey Beauregard.

His pentavirate was enthusiastic.  Thus, Ben, Johannes, Jack, Don and Humphrey made a secret cell with Jekyll as director and quite Chauvinistic planner.  Jekyll labelled them with the first letters of their names, BJJDHJ, and called the Cell, Behead Jojojoy.  They all laughed about this name but heartily accepted it.  They were all Electronic Engineers and helped to set up a complex surveillance headquarters deep within a cave in Pakistan.  An aerial of gigantic proportions made to look like a windmill generator was effective both for power generation and for picking up important signals from around the world and universe.  They could intercept all conversations from within the spaceship that was housing Venus, Queen of Solar System Earth.  They coded her large title as the “QOSSEV,” target number one for Behead Jojojoy, under Jekyll’s battle plan.

The first success for Behead Jojojoy was the ability to jam controls of the big spaceship which necessitated landing quickly for repairs.  Before it could again be launched, the XYY’s exploded a nearby H-bomb and disabled permanently the large space ship.  Venus was unharmed.  Finding QOSSEV was then a problem inasmuch as she had been alerted to the dangers of a rebel group of men, which had surprised the Women of the Universe.  Another, bigger space ship with advanced electronic shielding was brought in and QOSSEV was again at the controls.  She located the specific cave from which the signals emanated and they vaporized the mountain side.  Behead Jojojoy had anticipated this and relocated to the basement of a Maltese billionaire who supported them.  They maintained silence on their radios for six whole months.  They started communicating with a code that only men would understand, the sports vernacular, like, “throwing them a curve,” and “she’s out in left field, eh?”  This was effective for the interlude quite needed for more sophisticated planning.

During the interlude, all men of XYY genetic structures played the game of dressing up like women, just as if the hormone replacement therapy was working on them.  Locating them was just not possible for Venus, which effectively stopped all the women’s plans for vengeance.

Jekyll hatched a brilliant plan.  It reminded him of his teenage years when he threatened little girls with a long and sharp jack-knife saying, “If you don’t do exactly what I say, I will make a carving of a penis on your forehead.”  First he needed to undergo some surgery to build real breasts upon his chest and amputate his penis and his scrotum to make it look like he had a clitoris and two lower lips with an artificial honeypot.  All the men in Behead Jojojoy agreed to do the same so that identification was impossible for anyone who did not suspect his artistry of planning war.  On her part, Venus organized an elite group of Women of the Universe to have the necessary surgery to have them look like real men.  She had her breasts just amputated and her clitoris enlarged to simulate a penis, while her lower lips were extended to look like a scrotum to contain the crystal balls that would have fooled just anyone.  Their elite group of six Women of the Universe could then return to Earth in six months when their wounds were healed to ferret out the men who threatened her authority.  Likewise the men needed to wait six months for their surgeries to completely heal.  Each made contact with the enemy and chose a battlefield amongst them, Soldier’s Field in Old Chicago.  The day that was chosen was the Equinox in Spring when the NFL had not yet started it’s intense practice sessions.  On March the 21^st, both gangs of six men who were remade as women and six women that were anatomically like men, came to the fifty yard line of the stadium, each holding in their hand a remote control that could have vapourized all men or women, as appropriate to each six member gang.  The men who looked like women spoke up first: “I will vaporize you and your kind unless you take off all your clothes and submit to my designs on your six bodies!”  The women who looked like men, said exactly the same!  This Mexican stand-off was resolved when all twelve of them disrobed and started making out.  It was enthusiastic and enjoyable.

Venus quite liked the Jekyll and the Jekyll liked the Venus, immensely.  When all twelve were satisfied completely, they all said, “Hey this was nice.  Could we repair to my large condo and continue our negotiations in the comfort of my bed?”  Of course,” said all the warriors.  For fourteen days and fourteen nights, negotiations were intense and wonderful.  On the fifteenth day in May, the twelve negotiators planned a Peace on Earth, Good Will toward both men and women and a special large respect for the Freedom of the children to retain a choice for any sexuality that just felt right for them.  After drawing up the legalities, the twelve writers of the new constitution of the Village of the Earth went back to the big bedroom bed and had another fourteen days and fourteen nights of satisfaction.

Then the Pope could be a man or woman or a child.  The Spaceships were prohibited from landing anywhere on Earth unless they did comply with al the new, improved Society of the Earth-bound Humanity, SotE-bH, to be exact.  It was the finest hour for all of them.

And, everyone lived happily ever after, under the combined direction of our Venus and out Jekyll who ruled the world for fifty years before they gave it up for Tuesday’s Child.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

October 7, 2013