tiberius

TIBERIUS WAS FURIOUS

A Fictional Tale Of An

Unusual And Infamous Person

By Izzy Ess Of Deviousness

Tiberius was furious.  He’d set up all the atmosphere at his small place in South Detroit and had invited Tinkerbelle to share his supper, which was eels and beer, but she refused to even taste the eel and drank up all his beer.  Though Tinkerbelle was tipsy, she rejected all his overtures for sex.  She stomped right out the door at 7:30 and did not say so much as, “Thank you for the beer.”  Tibby called his friend, Junior Jumper, Jr., and complained to him.  “Didn’t she put out for you, Junior?  Is she prejudiced against black guys?  Or doesn’t she know that if you make dinner for a broad, she has to give you something, eh?”  Junior listened to his friend, the whiner, Tibby.  Junior was a rich white guy and hung around with Tiberius since they were in Detroit High School, together, five years ago.  Junior and Tiberius were tall and basketball was their game.  Together, they took the Detroit South Tigers to the State Championships and won, two years in a row.  They were on top of the world in those days.  They attracted high school girls from near and far.  They partied hearty all weekend and never studied.  They barely graduated with their grades and could not get into any local Colleges, nor did they attract any professional scouts from the NBA or ABA.  Junior got a full-time job repairing cars and Tiberius took part-time jobs in fast food restaurants like Wendy’s and Macdonald’s.  They made enough to just get by in terms of food and shelter.  Each had an old beat up Chevy which they did repair and maintain themselves.  Junior had a way with girls and women while Tiberius was awkward with them.  He had had a little luck initially but as the years went by, he had trouble getting dates.  He saved up for the occasional young prostitute of which there were an excess on the streets, mainly addicts seeking money to afford their habits.

Both the friends smoked marijuana, lighting up about four times a day.  Junior decided to quit but couldn’t talk his friend into quitting with him.  Junior got the call from Ford Motor Company for which he had applied and landed a high paying job on the line.  His union fees were stiff, but the salary was substantially higher than he had before.  Tiberius resented his friend’s success and they started losing contact.  Junior hooked up with a new set of friends and even found a very nice young woman, a secretary at the plant, to whom he got engaged.  They married in a year.  Tiberius refused to be Best Man and told Junior to go to Hell.  He said he wouldn’t care if he didn’t see his old friend Junior, ever again.  Junior couldn’t change his mind.  He and his new bride purchased the mortgage on a nice little house in the northern part of Detroit and prepared to start a family.  They had no trouble making friends and the neighbours really liked his presence in the neighbourhood.

Tibby stewed about his friend abandoning him and held a heavy grudge.  His social life deteriorated.  He spent the majority of his money on his habits, tobacco, alcohol, marijuana and the cheaper prostitutes who haunted the streets of his South Detroit neighbourhood.

Tibby murdered his first prostitute that year.  He threw her body in the river and escaped detection.  He’d stripped her body and took the few dollars that she had inside her bra and panties.  During his 2oth murder, he slipped up and was detected by a neighbour who alerted the police.  He was tried and sentenced to a life imprisonment.  The newspapers played up his serial killing spree and he was locally quite infamous.  His picture was in the newspapers for many weeks.

Junior tried to contact his old friend in prison but Tiberius refused to see him or accept his help.  Several famous lawyers took his case pro bono for the publicity.  It was them that got his sentence changed from execution to a life time in the penitentiary.  Ironically, one woman sought to marry him and arrange conjugal visitation.  Her name was Louise Ladner.  She was a youngish 40 and was featured in some newspapers.  Reporters from around the world would interview her.  Her story became quite famous in the USA and made some magazines sell more copies.  The marriage between Louise and our Tiberius was widely publicized.  The blood test that was required gave the opportunity for the prison doctors to do chromosomal studies.  Tiberius was found to have a trisomy set of sex genes, XYY, like Speck, in Chicago, who raped and murdered eight nurses ruthlessly, without remorse.  The authorities tried to stop Tiberius from having private conjugal meetings with his new wife.  They succeeded partially by having Tiberius and Louise have visits in a room with surveillance cameras and microphones.  Despite that, Tiberius murdered Louise, his brand new wife by gripping her neck and pushing with his thumbs to cut off her oxygen and ability to scream for help.  Tiberius claimed she had died of an asthmatic attack.  He smiled and quipped, “Maybe she was shocked by my huge erection?”

The autopsy later showed that Tiberius had fractured Louise’s voice box and completely obstructed her wind-pipe.  The guards suspected something, but were much too late to resuscitate Louise.  They judged Tiberius to be criminally insane and this was confirmed by the psychiatrists who worked there.  He was transferred to a cell and like Hannibal in the movie, “The Silence of the Lambs,” was completely isolated from his jailors and had no visitors except authorities and investigative reporters, who could not come near him, at all, because of thick Plexiglas and constant monitoring.

Tiberius demanded reading material and cable television.  He requested Playboy and Hustler magazines and watched the porn channels.  He masturbated constantly.  The psychiatrists confirmed that this was part of the behaviour of a man with XYY sex chromosomes.  He was even given magazines featuring hunting and Sadism-Masochism behaviour.  What surprised everyone was his request for legal textbooks, tortes and law-making.  These requests were honoured.  Tiberius was allowed to sign up for internet and signed up for Law School Courses at the University of Chicago.  He scored remarkably well in his LSAT examinations used for applying to be a student at a Law School.  His scores were extraordinarily high in view of his poor high school performance, in the past.  The psychiatrists had him checked and he was found to have an extremely high IQ, close to genius level.  Within three years he had completed all requirements for an LLB, a Bachelor of Laws.  Within another year, he attained his LLM and within another six months, his LLD, a doctorate with extremely high academic marks from the University of Chicago.

Another surprise was Tibby’s request for a formal Baptism with a Protestant Priestess.  The warden of the Penitentiary refused permission at first but re-considered so long as heavy security measures were instated.  The female Priestess was an Anglican married woman with red hair and a pleasing appearance.  The guards were chosen carefully and were prepared to open fire with any dangerous move on Tiberius’ part.  The Priestess was nervous and completed the baptism without a hitch except for Tiberius’ feeling her up and drinking the holy water.  Tibby smiled throughout the ceremony and acted in a pious way for the occasion.  The warden had provided him with formal clothing and the reporters and photographers were there.  The warden forbade TV coverage.  Several newspapers and magazines carried the story, some with glossy photographs.  Priestess Loren McMillan was stunning and Tibby looked very handsome and well-groomed.  Tiberius blessed the crowd when his head was dipped into the holy water.  He smiled leeringly at all the female reporters and photographers that attended the ceremony.  It was good publicity for the prison and for Tiberius who received more offers of marriage, thereafter.

Tiberius filed a legal writ for review of his sentence at the jail.  In a cage, he was brought to a nearby courtroom to present his case for parole, having already served twelve years.  He was turned down for parole, especially in the face of his new murder charge.  Tibby defended himself, successfully, by stating that Louise had requested she be choked to enhance her sexual experience.  The charge was changed to manslaughter and accidental death during an act of passion.  Tiberius re-applied for a legal review of his case every year.  He claimed to have exhibited outstanding behaviour and wanted credit for his good behaviour.  The panel of judges at the prison were getting more and more votes in favour of parole, with, of course, strict supervision and stiff rehabilitation requirements.  Finally, Junior showed up in Tibby’s defense.  He was willing to take full responsibility for a room at his new home with his new family and an association with a nearby Anglican Church and the red-headed priestess, who also was a defense witness for Tiberius.  Parole was granted in Tiberius’ fiftieth year.

Newspapers, television and magazines continued to publicize the events of Tiberius’ miraculous conversion to a model citizen with strong church connections.  In fact, he became a voluntary assistant at Sunday Services at the South Detroit Anglican Church were Reverend “Red” McMillan presided.   He read passages from the Holy Bible and lit candles and cleaned up afterwards with his old friend Junior Jumper, Jr. and his new family.  Tiberius met and got engaged to a young woman of the congregation, who was also a volunteer at the Anglican.  Junior was his best man and “Red” was the priestess who presided.  Everyone marvelled at Tibby’s behaviour and the beauty of his new red-headed young wife.  The Parole Board gave their blessings for Tibby to rent a modest apartment right next to the Anglican Church in South Detroit.  They also gave permission for the job that Tibby had chosen as a lineman in the Ford Motor Company, so long as Junior reported regularly to the Parole Board on Tiberius’ behalf.  His new wife, “Red,” bore him twin boys and twin girls.  Both boys had the chromosome abnormality that Tibby had, a set of XYY chromosomes.

The successful rehabilitation of Tiberius was reported widely.  Several magazines featuring colour photographs of Tibby’s new wife and family and cozy large apartment and it’s modest furnishings.  The Parole Board gave their blessings for the purchase of a new Ford Station Wagon and an application for a driver’s license for both Tibby and Red.  All four children were intelligent and did well in pre-school classes, kindergartens and grades I through VII.  Ten years flew by, it seemed and then another ten, without a negative incident.  Tibby was successful in passing his bar exams with flying colours and became a junior partner in a prominent law firm in downtown Detroit, with offices near the Cadillac Sheraton Hotel.  All reports were positive, including those from the firm of Smith, Smith, Smith and Weinstein.  Full partnership for Tiberius was being discussed with Junior, the Parole Board and both Reds.  In his fifteenth year since his parole, the full partnership was granted and the law firm changed its name to Smith, Smith, Smith, Weinstein and Tiberius. After Tiberius had brought more than a hundred clients and several millions of American Dollars into the law firm’s coffers.  Tibby’s annual salary exceeded $200,000, thereafter, with medical, dental and other benefits, including retirement planning.

Well, dear readers, have you read enough of this to realize that catastrophe was lurking in the shadows for Tiberius.  He had a plan to make a lot of money and then disappear.  He plotted with his two sons who easily took on his way of devious thinking and behaviour to get just what they wanted, freedom from the boring crowd of the Church, the Firm and the Family.  He and his son’s rented a huge yacht docked in the Detroit Harbour.  It had the capacity for a crowd of several hundred men, women and children.  He and his boys convinced both Red and Red to make a special Sunday for a fund-raiser on the yacht.  It was catered by Detroit’s Red Mess, the caterers to the wealthy of Detroit.  It was a tremendous spread of gourmet fish and poultry, fruits and vegetables, wines and liquors, presented very artistically on the whole first deck of the yacht.  The highest contributors received their own staterooms where the riff-raff stood around on the lower deck, mainly at the railing, looking out at the Detroit River and the skyline of the City of Detroit.  All the thousands collected in cash was put in a large safe that had a slot in the middle shaped like a Cadillac.  The keys were kept by Red and Red who were the hostesses and both looked beautiful and freshly coiffed, and wore beautiful pink evening gowns bought just recently by funds supplied by Tiberius and his sons, Romulus and Remus.  His daughters, Venus and Serena, were wearing bright red lingerie type dresses and red patent leather spikes.  Neither wore a stitch of underwear and both attracted crowds of wealthy young men who made large contributions in cold hard cash while arranging for future dates and rendezvous.

By Sunday evening, the safes were full of thousands, perhaps millions of dollars.  The crowd dispersed as the Jazz Band played, “The Party’s Over!  Turn off the Lights.”  Remaining on the yacht, as planned were Tiberius and his wife, the Reverend and her husband and four children, Venus, Serena, Romulus and Remus.  All had private state rooms in which to sleep for the night.  All retired to their rooms except for Tiberius, Romulus and Remus who went below.  In the engine room, they finalized their final solution to their boredom.  They introduced cyanide into the vents of all the staterooms, effectively and cruelly killing everyone.  They waited until all was still and vented the staterooms with pure oxygen to allow them access.  They stole the keys from Red and Red who were lying dead with Sardonic grins on their faces and the beautiful gowns that they were wearing.  They checked to see that all were dead including Venus and Serena and the entire family of Reverend Red and all remaining crew who were supposed to sleep below in the cheaper rooms.  One by one, the bodies were thrown overboard on the side of the yacht away from the Detroit lit up skyline.

Tiberius, Romulus and Remus hustled to get the yacht’s motors running and they manned the control deck to maneuver the yacht out of the harbour.  They let the yacht just drift quickly with the current which would take them south past Toledo and into the shallow Lake Erie.  They got clearance to enter the harbours of Port Colbourne, Ontario, Canada and steered the yacht carefully through the locks of the Welland Canal as they headed for Lake Ontario.  Once in the Lake, they speeded up and headed northeast, passing Kingston, Ontario, Cornwall, Montreal, Rimouski, and headed out to sea after rounding Gaspe Peninsula.  Then they headed south past Boston, New York, Chesapeake Bay, Washington, DC, Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Miami and headed into the Gulf of Mexico.  They traversed the Panama Canal and headed due east to Honolulu.  They passed Hawaii and headed east to Singapore where they docked as the Intrepid Manhood, having surreptitiously repainted the name on the boat during their crossing of the Pacific Ocean and the International Dateline.  They presented their cleverly forged passports and the Ownership papers of the Intrepid Manhood, out of Miami, to the Harbour Master in Singapore.  They purchased a small hotel in Singapore, The Hotel Saint Sebastian, and set up housekeeping in a three room suite on the top floor of the five story Hotel.  The next day, they sold the yacht for much more than it was worth to a wealthy Chinese businessman from Beijing.

In Detroit, the bodies of both Reds were discovered in the Detroit River, floating slowly with the currents toward Toledo and Lake Erie.  A massive investigation was launched with the help of the FBI, the Detroit Bureau of Investigation, the Detroit Police and Interpol.  Evidence that the yacht was observed by Harbour Masters all along the route from Toledo to Niagara on the Lake.  The yacht was not discovered until one clever cop had followed clues to Singapore and the wealthy businessman from Beijing who bought it for much more than it was worth.  Interpol arranged to confiscate the yacht and arrest the Beijing Chinese man.  No clues were found regarding the previous owner of the yacht or his present whereabouts.  Another clever cop put together the purchase of the small hotel and the sale of the yacht, but he was too late.  The hotel had recently been totally destroyed by a mysterious explosion which had rocked the entire community.  Some harbour masters had described three Afro-Americans, one older than the other two.  Another clever cop compared the descriptions of these three men and made a leaping conclusion that they were in fact, Tiberius and his two sons, Romulus and Remus.  The harbour masters were then shown actual pictures of the three of them and they identified the trio, as was guessed.

The yacht had also been identified as the one on which the Church group had staged a gala fundraiser that fateful Sunday afternoon.  The Chinese man from Beijing said that was the Yacht with a new name, The Intrepid Manhood, boldly painted on the boat.  The Beijing businessman was released uncharged while his yacht was kept for closer examination.  Still, no clue was found of the present whereabouts of Tiberius and his two sons, Romulus and Remus.  The hotel staff that had survived identified the owners as the sought after trio, but had no idea where they were or whether they had been killed in the large explosion that had reduced the small hotel to rubble.  An expert investigative crew from Interpol went through the rubble with a fine-toothed comb but were unable to identify our trio.  Certainly, no body parts were found that could have yielded the XYY distinctive pattern.  All the body parts found showed the usual XX or XY pattern in the DNA studies, spectroscopic examinations and the tissue samples that were carefully prepared and examined under microscopes.

And, where was the trio?  They were safe and healthy and enjoying the night-life of Hamburg as three wealthy men from Peoria, South Africa.  Their accents and their passports were confirmative.  They had the papers to prove that they were South Africans who owned an import-export company, the Pretorian Trading Company, and who were scouting import-export companies for an interesting acquisition for their expanding company in South Africa.  They were already in the process of acquiring two other similar companies in Prague and London.  People who did business with them were always on their guard for devious business practices, but on the whole, they were respected for their business perspicacity and their social behaviour which was certainly a lot of fun.  Tiberius, now officially named Kirk, and his two sons, Vulcan and Bones, warned his sons to keep away from prostitutes, but otherwise encouraged them to have a lot of fun.  Kirk certainly led his sons by good examples of his own fun-loving social behaviour.

Well, my friends, my readers who enjoy an interesting tale of great adventure and intrigue.  I hope I’ve entertained you for at least a moment or two.  Good night, good fun and good story-telling to you all!  Amen and Hallelujah for this is

THE END

© Izzy Sommers, MD

Welland, Canada

October 13, 2013

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