frederico

MONSIGNOR FREDERICO BELAFONTE

A Sagacious Saga About A

Very Lucky Priest Who Travelled

From Milano To Chicagoland

By Izzy Ess of Holiness

Monsignor Frederico Belafonte was first assigned to Chicago Diocese in La Grange, about twenty miles southwest of Madison Avenue and State Street, in the resurrected City of Chicago.  La Grange was subdivided by John Cossett by way of La Grange, Louisiana, where he had been tarred and feathered, and chased out of town, by an angry group of greedy investors who claimed he had defrauded them of their investments in his subdivision, there.  Dr. Robert Foxx, his brother-in-law, heavily invested and concentrated on the businesses that sprouted up, downtown.  He made a fortune in rents and leases for professional and business offices and a series of boutiques that drew the wealthy folks from Chicago.  The success of La Grange was strongly dependent on the highway connections, including interstate highways 12, 20, 45 and the famous Route 66, from downtown Chicago to Oakland, California.  Route 66 came through La Grange on the Great Plank Road and was Ogden Avenue in the southwestern suburbs.

Father Belafonte was assigned the great big Roman Catholic Church on Main Street which had been built in 1880 with generous contributions by the Catholics, locally and by the Vatican.  It bore a resemblance to the Notre Dame in Paris.  The one on Main Street had pseudo flying buttresses and a capacity of 1000 seats in the pews.  The vestry was magnificent and had the appearance of a wealthy brownstone like the ones on South State and South Park Streets, in Chicago.  A distinct feature of La Grange was its white 4 feet high obelisks at all the corners on which had been stenciled the names of streets that comprised the intersections of the subdivision.  An old building in that area became part of La Grange and for years had been an orphanage for unwanted or illegitimate children, including the famous Steve Allan, who chronicled his early life in La Grange and his search for his parents and his siblings.  Another famous person who lived in the La Grange area was Groucho Marx.  He and his brothers owned a sizeable farm in the area and gave it up as their show business careers developed, successfully.

Monsignor Frederico Belafonte was known to his intimate friends as simply, “Fred.”  Fred developed friendships easily and became a popular priest in the La Grange community.  Frequently, he spoke at Lyons Township High School during their assemblies and softly preached the Jesus message and the “Glad Tidings” that his disciples used as missionaries after His Crucifixion.  He encouraged the students to start attending his beautiful church, Ste. Mary’s, regularly and offered many activities for them including a “Passion Playing Club,” for presenting Passion Plays about the story of Our Saviour’s sacrifice and ascension into Heaven.  Of course, he favoured his religion over the many forms of Protestantism that were represented in La Grange, including a magnificent Lutheran cathedral and an Anglican huge church.  The smaller church for Episcopalians seemed to attract the wealthy Christians who were rolling up the sidewalks early every evening and getting up early to take the Burlington Northern Railway line that took them from La Grange to Union Station in downtown Chicago, early every morning.  La Grange was fortunate to have two main train stations one of which had been designed by a famous architect and been named the Stone Street Station, which the architect had beautifully designed and had built.  Most of the time, the ride downtown was silent as the business executives, the stock brokers and CEOs of major companies, read the Wall Street Journal or the business section of the Chicago Tribune.

There were absolutely no Synagogues or Mosques in Lagrange.  There were a few Jewish and Muslim doctors at the La Grange Community Memorial Hospital, gold and tennis players.  None of them were allowed to join the strictly exclusive La Grange Golf and Country Club even after the National Television Networks got wind of it during a LPGA tournament there.  There was one Jewish Deli on Ogden Avenue owned and operated by two Afro-Americans.  This was frequented by many Blackhawk Hockey players who came there to relax and enjoy the non-kosher Jewish-style food, like kreplach and borscht soup, halvah and corned beef on rye sandwiches, pastrami and salami.  Fred would often stop there in the afternoon to meet the NHLers, including Bobby Hull and Keith Magnuson, Stan Makita and Brett Hull.  Fred was popular there and became a regular.

Fred was passionate about his calling to become a Catholic Priest.  He had aspirations to be called to Rome and be elected by the Cardinals to be the Pope.  He fostered his dreams with hard work aimed at showing he was pious and effective as a Catholic priest who attracted large numbers of people to his wealthy Cathedral.  His weekly contributions to the coffers of the Vatican were quite substantial.  No one guessed his secret and, of course, he didn’t make it public.

Fred was christened Frederico in his home town of Milano, Italy, where he grew up happily amongst ten other siblings who adored him.  The Belafonte parents were quite liberal and allowed their children to bathe together  in a tiled sunroom which functioned as a rather large and beautiful Turkish Bath.  Frederico was a middle child, the seventh of a sibling herd of eleven children, five girls and six boys.  His parents joined their children in the daily bath which featured splashing, giggling and a fair amount of fondling of the private parts of all of them, including Sophia’s and Mario’s, the parents.  In fact, there often was some penetration of the females, mother and her five girls, and some joy in watching all the boys show off their penises and their erections.  As the children became teenagers, the intercourses were more common.  At one time, Sophia and her five teenage daughters were all impregnated and added to the family of thirteen with another six children, five girls and another boy.  The family size was not unusual in Milano and no one looked askance at them.  The daily bathing unions were, in fact, a common part of many Catholic families.

The famous Cathedral in Milano featured very distinctive architecture, with an hundred tiny towers on the roof.  Frederico liked his function as an altar boy and was delighted when the priest, a Father Giuseppe Mastroianni, took a special interest in his development and encouraged him to start thinking of the priesthood and the Vatican.  As an eighteen year old, excelling in his schooling and showing signs of leadership, Frederico entered Priesthood training at the St. Giuseppe’s Academic and Religious School for Priests.  He graduated at the top of his own class and was the Valedictorian.  His speech was well-received and was a sermon about the Life of Jesus and his Sacrificial Crucifixion.  All agreed, it was inspiring and outstanding for this young man who was mentioned as a Papal candidate for the near future.  Fred’s first assignment to the Chicago Diocese was reputed to be a fine stepping stone for his ascension to the Papacy in Rome.  His family was very proud of him and as a send-off staged a final family party in a naked final Turkish bath for all of them and all their kith and kin and neighbours.  Everyone had a ball.

Twenty years went by in the Ste. Mary’s Cathedral in La Grange.  Fred’s flocks were very large and his contributions to the Vatican were very substantial.  Still, Frederico was getting anxious about his chances for the Vatican and the Papacy.  He rationalized that he was still quite young while Popes were generally very old.  Another twenty years went by and Frederico was depressed at times.  His dream of ascension to the highest Vatican position was fading, inasmuch as no one had even contacted him and discussed the possibilities of Vatican success.

Fred missed his loving Milano family.  With some of his budget, he had built a Turkish Bath in the basement of the church in an unused large room near the modern gymnasium which attracted many teenagers to the church, for make-up games and tournaments.  He tried to duplicate the family masonry and was satisfied that his family would be delighted in the Ste. Mary’s basement Turkish Bath.  At first, he used it only for himself.  He met a beautiful widow during a confession and he took a chance.  He invited her to try the Turkish Bath.  Suzanne Sommerville was attracted to the handsome priest and was delighted with the invitation.  She came to Ste. Mary’s Wednesday evening and every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, thereafter.  They bathed initially with a satin sheet that covered them.  Slowly, they became more friendly and dropped the sheets and started fondling private parts.  Soon, they were having passionate sexual intercourse which started when she offered Fred her derriere for Fred to penetrate with his generously sized erection.  Soon, the sessions in the Turkish bath started in the afternoons and did not finish until after midnight, when the couple aurreptitiously went through the secret tunnel to Frederico’s sleeping chamber where the nuns that cleaned and cooked for their handsome priest would tuck Suzanne and her lover, Fred, beneath the satin, Latin sheets.  The nuns, Sophia and Maria, soon began to join them in the Turkish bath and in the king-sized Priestly bed between the Latin, satin sheets.   The nuns and Suzanne all discovered that they liked the set of female private parts that were available for fondling, which turned on Fred, immensely.  His great big erection was shared equally between Sophia, Maria and our lovely Suzanne.

Yet, Frederico was depressed at times because he missed his family and still was not being contacted by the Vatican for possible ascension to the Papacy.  Fred began to give up on his dreams.  At some expense to his small budget, Fred invited his Milano family to vacation in Chicagoland.  They stayed in his own Vestry and partook in his bathing ritual with his girlfriend and the nuns.  Everybody had a ball and Fred was happier than he had been.  His family were able to stay for extended periods for the next ten years.  His congregation and his reputation as a pious priest was ever growing and he was enthralled.  His contributions to the Vatican were also greater based on increasing income from the generous congregation members on Sunday mornings, during services and extended great confessions.  Folks were coming to Ste. Marie’s beautiful Cathedral from La Grange and many other Chicagoland regions.  Fred budgeted for a building fund and was able to buy adjacent properties on Main Street and expand his Cathedral to hold more people.

The Vatican had not yet called Fred to the Papacy, but God called on a Wednesday night when Fred was bedding altogether ten devout and loving women at one time.  The God of Orthodoxy called to Heaven, Fred’s huge Christian Spirit and admitted him through the Pearly Gates.  Fred’s Spirit was very popular with the Cherubim and Nephalim and a kind of Heavenly Turkish Bath was built for him and all the female angels who would participate in his bathing rituals.  Indeed, Frederico was quite satisfied with his whole life an expressed his thankfulness in daily bathing rituals that many female angels took advantage of.

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!

THE END

Nay, In The Beginning,

There Was Light And

Frederico Belafonte

Saw That It Was Good

© Izzy Sommers, MD

Welland, Canada

Oktoberfest, 2013