spanish lover

SIR FREDERICO FERDINANDO

A Fictional Account Of A Lover

Who Out-Loved The Famous Lovers,

Casanova, Shakespeare, Machiavelli,

Fielding, Yoko Ono, Martha With The Flaxen

Hair Who Sat High Up On The Mount,

With Jesus, Who Stroked Her Flaxen Hair,

Mentioned In A Part Of The Bible Deleted By

A Pope, An Anti-lover, Constantine,

Robbie Burns And Elizabeth Barrett Browning

And Her Husband Robert Barrett

By Izzy Ess of Jealous-ness

Sir Frederico Ferdinando lived in old Seville in the fourteenth century when Don Quixote would have lived.  Don Quixote was, of course, a legend.  His tilting at windmills in the northern part of Europe would have garnered laughter by a multitude.  Instead, the folks made Don Quixote a hero and a staunch protector of his only love, a prostitute who suffered much abuse from the ugly gentlemen who came to bars to get a drink and buy a favour from the prostitute, Dulcinea, or gang rape her without paying.  Frederico was beknighted by the King of Spain for valour in the field of battle.  He was a gentleman and had married a young Lady, Senorita Belladonna Lopez, a diligent farm girl from Catalonia, beside Cordoba, in the middle of the country.  He chose her just because she was so beautiful and friendly and looked like she would be fertile and could bear him a male heir for his Ranchero Grande in Seville, which the King of Spain, Philip, had granted him for his valour in the war of 1389 against the Basques.  Queen Isabella had a yen for him and cornered him for sex a dozen times, whispering it was a gift for him for valour in the field of battle.  King Philip did scold his Queen for having Frederico for her lover, but she did it, anyway, and it was great.  Frederico had the pick of all the Ladies of the Court, but he preferred his Belladonna to the snobbish Ladies of the Royal Spanish Court.  Nonetheless, he managed to impregnate Queen Isabella and several Ladies, in a year.  All did claim it was their husbands who had been the fathers of the dozen children that were really from the brave young soldier, Frederico Ferdinando, who would become a Knight.

Sir Frederico and his bride, the lovely Belladonna Lopez, had seven girls before they had a boy.  The boy was sickly and he died before the age of five with pneumonia.  His daughters were all bright and pretty, like their mother, and were also sexy and seductive just like her.  They liked to crawl into his bed at night and cuddle and make him so satisfied.  They kissed him and they hugged him and they tried to make some babies with him, when they reached their teenage years.  Belladonna encouraged all her daughters to be friendly with her husband and to help in bed, because she was becoming tired of having babies and needed some relief for her duties as a wife to such a loving husband that seemed to need some sex, each and every opportunity.  The daughters had observed their parents making love and tried to imitate their mother with her grunting and her screaming.  The nights took on a circus atmosphere as the mother was getting tired and wanted all her seven daughters to aid her and abet her with her very loving husband.  The competition for their father’s private parts would sometimes lead to fighting and some funny antics by the daughters to distract their father from the other daughters.  By the time the oldest daughter was but thirty, all the daughters had more daughters and the master bedroom needed some enlarging to accommodate the crowd of females that competed with each other.  Sir Frederico seemed to revel in his power over all of them and they adored him from the start of their young lives.  With the granddaughters in the mix, Sir Frederico had the master bedroom modified to make it one huge bed so everyone could get right in and enjoy the nights.

Sir Frederico lived to be an hundred and he ended up with forty progeny, all females, who slept with him and serviced him for each and every night.  His female staff, including chambermaids, cooks and laundresses, just joined the crowd, at times, and had their way with their own Lord, as frequently as possible.  More daughters were produced.  Il Rancho di Seville, became a paradise for Frederico, fulfilling all his fantasies of Heaven here on Earth.  The ranch was smoothly run and found success in breeding horses for nobility.  This meant much extra income for the Knight that fought with so much valour that he was rewarded in so many ways for his aggressiveness.

Sir Frederico died one night when he was a centurion.  He had a smile upon his face as he ascended up to Heaven.  The female Angels were expecting him and made him feel at home.

The surviving crowd of more than hundred seven sexy women needed someone to replace the Lord.  In the village was a blacksmith who was handsome and quite muscular.  The women of Il Rancho di Seville asked him to replace the Lord and he said he’d try.  He tried so hard, he died of apoplexy in a month.  There was then a goldsmith who died within a month of dropsy.  Then, there was a married minister who died within a month of complete exhaustion.  The King, himself, had heard of this dilemma and he sent over all his Knights to do the job.  This was a good solution and all the women were so happy, once again.

Queen Isabella was a dreamer, too.  She dreamt of having many men aboard the largest galleons on the ocean.  The armada needed able men and women to build the ships and sew the uniforms of all the sailors.  They required some females to be on board the ships to service them.  Queen Isabella knew about Il Rancho di Seville and hired some fifty women to sew uniforms and be the sailor’s women for a voyage on the Seven Seas.  Three boats, the Nina, Pinta and the Santa Maria sailed for India and found America with Christopher Columbus at the helm, plus women of Il Rancho di Seville in the stern.  More women of Il Rancho di Seville accompanied Pissarro and Cortez.  They sewed the pretty uniforms and help export the syphilis and other bugs to North and South America.  Cortez’ ranch in Buena Vista, Mexico, did grow a lot of sugar cane for profitable sales in sunny Spain, after building a magnificent high aqueduct for irrigation that still can operate today.  It was the women of Il Rancho di Seville that made this possible.  The women of Il Rancho also built a factory for the manufacturing of all the finest quality swords and muskets for the Spaniards and the Portuguese who were just killing and just conquering the natives of the Western Hemisphere, who also fell because of syphilis and many old world viri.  This meant further gold doubloons for Il Rancho di Seville, which was getting richer all the time.

Despite their riches and connections the sexy women of Il Rancho found it hard to get good men to service them.  They wore out all the sailors of the grand armadas of the Spaniards and the Portuguese.  They wore out all the Aztec, Mayan and the ancient Inca Chieftans, while taking all the gold and silver they could offer them.  Many of the naked women of the carvings on the pyramids in South and Central areas were really sexy women of Il Rancho in Seville.

The Day, in May, had come when Il Rancho folded for there were no able men that could keep up with all the women like the Knight, Sir Frederico Fernando did.  Surreptitiously, they did sell the ranch and holdings for great profits and divided all the proceeds by 147, the number of remaining women at the ranch and elsewhere.  Each woman got a cool $147,147.147 Spanish pesos for a dowry to attract a nobleman.  It all worked out as each and every one of them was able to attract 147 men and boys and chambermaids to marry them.  Queen Isabella and her Prince, King Philip, each took two for their own services and they thought they had been very lucky to hook up with them.  What remains at a flattened site where was Il Rancho, was a bird-poop covered statue of Sir Frederico, naked and with a large upwardly directed grand erection, which had broken off and been so tightly taped to his bold thigh, that it hardly was not possible to think of gluing it back together with his scrotum, hanging loosely in the breeze.

AMEN AND HALLELUJAH!

THE END

© Izzy Sommers, MD

Wetland, Kanata

October 16, 2013