Johannes and Pierre

A short conversation

By izzy ess of wilderness

“Au contraire,” said bold Pierre who had his dander up about the role of Frenchmen in the war of 1812, upon the Plains of Abraham.  “We fought against Americans as hard as we had fought against the South, when we as Mercenaries helped the North succeed against the farmers and the slavers in Confederation States.”

The leader of the Pennsylvania D’utch, Johannes Landstein disagreed.  “The French were opportunists and demanded land and money for their efforts.  We Amish, Mennonites and other German folks gave up our lives for freedom from religious bars and barricades.  Rejecting slavery in every form, our families were workers on the farms and ranches.  Making our own boots, shoes, shirts and sausages.  Our self-sufficiency is legendary!”

Our Pierre retorted, “Why did Germans use those captured Jews for slavery?”  Pierre sneered and looked askance at anything Johannes had to offer.

Johannes pouted.  “We were slaves, ourselves.  If we had not defiled the Jews and Poles and everyone we captured, we ourselves would be in danger.  We’d be shot as traitors!  Anyway the Jews did not resist.  In fact, docility was common.  They agreed implicitly to work for us and be apart from family.”

Pierre was quite perturbed.  “You mean to say the Jews were sheep and acted cowed for you?  I can’t believe it!  It would be cowardly to let a few commanders be controlling groups of Jews.  It must have been quite possible for groups of Jewish prisoners to overwhelm a few commanders, even if they had the guns.”

Johannes laughed.  “The Jews were docile and completely cowed by us.  We even murdered them in view of everyone.  They just put their heads down and accepted all atrocities as something each of them deserved!”

“You would have not been able to subdue a group of Frenchmen.”

“Au contraire, Pierre,” Johannes said.  “We merely walked around your Line of Maginot and took your precious Paris sans so much as one brave German falling!  And, your underground resistance was a laugh.  Charles de Galle had fled the country and was in command while sitting safely in the England Mansion, where survived so cowardly, throughout the war.”

“Hey, Kraut, desist!  De Galle was excellent and gained the Presidency, later on.  He was no Bonaparte, Napoleon, but he was hero to us all.”

“Hero, shmearo, Foolish Frog!  He was a coward, through and through.  He ran away when things got tough instead of standing tight and fighting for you all..”

“En guarde, you Krazy Kraut.  Go home and eat your sauerkraut before I guillotine your private parts and feed them to les porcs.”

“Achtung, yourself, you friggin’ Frog!  If you dare touch your silly sword, I’ll shoot your balls away with this great gun, my Luger.”

Simultaneously, Hussein, Sadaam, and bin Laden, the Osama, ran them through with razor sharpened scimitars.  They wiped their blades with silk and walked away, triumphantly.

A stereotype being what he is, this tale is told to you by idiotic strutting actors on a stage and has no known significance.  Let’s dance and play some tambourines…

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

June 24, 2013