LA
SOEUR DE LA CALEDONIE
[ A New scripture of sorts in Iambic Rhythm
In the styles of Willie Shakespeare and of Dr. Seuss ]
[An
Oratorio in the style of Handel, would be nice]
By
Izzy Ess of Holiness, Ungodliness and quite a Messy Mass
A
nun from Caledonia, a Mary Martha Salmonella, had achieved her status after two
full years as young novitiate. She’d
been inspired by stern and heavy Mother Super Madeleine, who drew the line
completely, sharply and decisively, when dealing with, the seven deadly sins
and other sins of lousy cleanliness, hard work and sacrifice. Our Sister Mary waited for her new assignment
to asses her status as a woman. Liking
to review herself in secrecy by using a long mirror that was hanging on the
inside of her closet door. Before she
entered Sacred Heart, she was not quite so ready to accept her beauty and her
womanhood, but everything snuck up on her, in those two years of being a
novitiate. Her new assignment was the
Monastery-Convent at Los Alamos, where it was always very hot. Her habit was so very hot and heavy. In the darkness of the cooler night, she’d
take a shower with cool water, with an underwater tiny flashlight. When she would start in to soap herself with
Oil of Lavender, a gift from super Sister Madeleine, instead of getting cooler,
she would start to get a little hot and bothered. She was quite naïve about her physiology and
had been shocked when menarchy had started.
She explored her organs and discovered she had ample breasts and pointy
nipples and some pleasing stuff which she would stroke and strum. In every night, she’d sense some pleasing
feelings as she stroked and strummed.
She had no one with whom to share her new discoveries until one night, a
handsome monk unlocked her door and entered.
He was pleased to find her doing pleasing past-times. He did ask, politely, if she’d like to stoke
and strum his manhood and she smiled. He
took his robe completely off, revealing that he wore no underwear. He joined her in the shower and they stroked
and strummed and hummed together with some harmony. They hummed Muzorski’s lovely melody, the “Ave
Maria,” and all the songs about the sailors and the cabin boys that Brother
John had learned at home. It wasn’t long
before they found that they would fit together, anatomically. While thus enjoined, they rocked the night
away, discovering what Eve and Adam had discovered. Holding on so tightly, they could feel some
inner happenings that made them want to do their rocking, stroking, strumming
and harmonious great humming, ‘til the dawn.
When bells called them to morning prayers, they dismounted and got
quickly dressed to sneak out without being noticed. During daylight hours, they saw each other
with a glance, or two, and smiled quite inwardly. They dared not speak or touch lest sins were
seen. That second night, they met again
for showering and bathing in the lavender.
They took up stroking and some strumming, once again, and tried
enjoining but the pain was too intense.
Both Mary and her young monk had a chaffing rash. They rubbed themselves with Vaseline and used
some Johnson’s baby powder. Feeling less
discomfort, Mary offered Brother John her derriere and he accepted it. So slowly, they proceeded to explore the inner
pleasures of the night. They strummed
and hummed while standing up. They
stroked and poked while lying down. They
changed around so Mary sat on top of John, at times, while other times, her
John was on the top of her. They smiled
a lot as they explored the possibilities of all their fond discoveries. The bell for morning prayers came much too
early but they hurried to get dressed and act completely non-chalantly. At their lunch, they both discovered that
they’d not re-donned their underwear.
Both felt a pleasing breeze upon their private parts. They tried in vain to keep it from the
others. Brother Samuel asked his Brother
John if he had crabs and if he knew the cream to use for best results. John said yes, he knew, and that was
that. A Sister Melva asked if Mary had a
yeast infection and advised her to use Yoghurt.
Mary thanked the older Sister and demurred to give her details of her
itching. Later, in that night, John
asked if he could lick and suck her breasts as he had done in infancy. Our Mary said, of course. The pleasure that was felt by Mary was a bit
intense and Mary moaned. She felt her
bottom get quite hot and drippy while her John experienced a major growth of
his already huge behemoth’s trunk. Then,
Mary disengaged her nipples and sank down upon her knees, as if to pray. She took John’s manhood in both hands and
stroked it with élan. She held it steady
as she took it in her mouth and started tonguing it. Her efforts caused a happy John to give to
her a mouth- and throat-full of his warm and salty stuff. She loved the taste and feel of it and
swallowed all of it with happiness.
John felt so good, he tried reciprocating by positioning his loving nun
so that he could lick her lower lips and tiny throbbing clit. Our Sister Mary felt herself start gushing,
squirting and just overflowing with her juices.
John enjoyed immensely drinking all she could produce. Our Mary climaxed many times and squirted
into John’s anticipating mouth and throat so many ounces of her stuff. Our John began again to get his mast enlarged
and very stiff. Our Mary laughingly
beseeched him to re-introduce it into her.
John happily complied and then they rocked away the night until the
morning bells. Two months went by while
both our Sister Mary and her Brother John spent all their nights together
making love, even when she had her period.
Of course, it came about, that Mary was impregnated. The other monks and nuns were quite convinced
it was a miracle and publicized it to the outside world. No one knew that our shy and reticent young
Brother John was instrumental in the pregnancy.
The feeble Holy Father, head of the establishment, requested that he
check if Mary was a virgin. His
arthritic fingers and his shaking hands were quite incapable of checking on the
facts while his manhood still performed for him its thing and pushed his pants
toward our partly naked Sister Mary.
Mary smiled and rubbed it through his habit and he gave enough to wet
the cloth, a bit below his Holy Cross. He
proudly made announcements that it was a miracle and that the Angel Gabriel had
given Mary all the Holy Spirit she deserved, to be befit to be a mother. Mary and the others, who had guessed the
truth, kept silent. Mother Madeleine
from Caledonia was called to be the midwife for her former student and was
proud to be delivering a virgin birth.
The latest Baby Jesus was delivered without difficulty. He began to smile and gurgle, right
away. Our happy Mary took Him to her
breasts and fed him as he eagerly sucked in the nipples and did drink, just
like her lover, John, had done the night before. She presented Baby Jesus to the monks and
nuns and Los Alamos reporters and photographers. Our Brother John had cleverly presented to
the Holy Father that a Josephesque-like man must take responsibility for taking
care of Sister-Mother Mary and her Baby Jesus, Son of Gabriel and God. Our Father Manfred thought the boy was daft
but did concede the truth of his whole argument about the need for Mary to be
taken care of by a Josephesque-like man.
The Headlines and the internet went ape as stories spread around the
world about a Baby Jesus born to Mary with a Joseph at her side. Around the world, the pilgrims planned to
come to Mary’s aid with huge donations and so many pieces of real gold and
silver, eh? And, such great amounts of frankincense
and gentle myrrh were carried in. Of
course, the crowds began to come to get the blessings of the newborn Baby
Jesus, Son of God and Holy Ghost and Gabriel.
The crowds are ever-present still.
I’ll never tell the secret of the Lavender and Explorations,
Intercourses and Delights, of Rashes and Such Unprotected Sexual Activities of
Mary and our Joseph, nee our John. St.
Gabriel admitted later to his Holy Father, God, what he had done without
permission. The Lord did see His Gabriel and bade him come
to comfort Him in Heaven, as it is on Earth.
The Lord directed Moses to begin engraving Stones and scrawling, on the
Scrolls, a Hexateuch. The spirit of our Josephus,
the writer of the Holy Bible, Old and Newer Testaments, was also given orders
to begin to write the Newest Testament to follow from his older texts. The Bible Publishers went ape with this
bonanza of completely new additions to the Holy Scriptures. Amen and Hallelujah.
THE
END
© izzy sommers, md
Welland, Canada
July 23, 2013
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