dictionaries, eh?

I FOUND A DICTIONARY

An ode for creativity, originality and spark

By Izzy Ess of Messiness

In Chippewa, Ontario, I found

A treasured ’36 school dictionary

Like the one my English teachers used

To check the accuracy, syntax, spelling,

Grammar, and such things, of all the themes

And essays, poems and stories written by

Her students and she based her grade on them,

As if such things had anything to do

With creativity, originality

And spark.  Excelling in the Math and Sciences,

The Languages and other subjects,

I was mediocre graded for

My English efforts.  Once, I got a 62,

My lowest mark in thirteen grades, because

I used the word “befit,” in red encircled,

With the comment, “No such word!”  and

Flabbergasted, I complained, to no avail.

That teacher obviously had the weighty

Dictionary that I’d found for reading

During breakfast, just last week.  I was

So sure that I had read the word somewhere,

Most likely in the many books available

From her school library.  And sure enough,

“Befit,” was nowhere in this pompous tome.

And neither were the words, like “aardvark,” “zurf”

And “zarf,” some favourites I like to use

In Scrabble and my poetry.  Most other

Words I like to use were in the tome,

Like “armadillo,” “elephant,” and “mammoth,”

Each with splendid illustrations.  Viz:

Quartettes of armadillos, mammoths, elephants

And aardvarks, met with Russians drinking

Tea from glasses using zarfs and zurfs

Of sterling silver.  It’s suffice to say,

On Hudson’s Bay, the windy, salty surfs

Can imitate the blue and furry smerfs.

I rest my case my teacher, dear.  I fear

Your tome befitted your true bad bum steer.

Beware of dictionaries and those works

That make of you the stifled quirky jerks

That think that compositions are so good

As long as authors are composed of wood

And spell and syntax really well and should

Use words that are restricted to the hood.

Such creativity abounds in whom

There’s sparkle from the womb to tomb by zoom,

And Poetry would not exist if you

Restrict you knowledge outside Xanadu.

Before the written word, there was the beat

Of drums and dance and grunts and squeaks and “zeeks!

The grammar and the syntax, spelling and

Was not prescribed by God or by His Hand.

In fact, the Hebrew of the Bible had

No vowels.  It rhymed and simple folks were glad

To say their messages from God in songs

And Psalms and Poetry without the wrongs,

That English teachers list in classes that

Would put an Evil smile on Cheshire’s Cat.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

July 3, 2013