life & death & everything

SIMKEH AND ITZIK

A Short Saga of Death and Life and Everything

By Izzy Ess of Happiness

When Simkeh Balabanov blew her chances with Ivan Jacobi, she became depressed and moped around the house, unable to get organized.  The dirt piled up and dishes filled the sink.  Her thirteen children realized there was no hope and left to visit kith and kin.  Then, Simkeh felt abandoned.  Then, a peddler wandered by and offered her a hand.  They lived together for some fourteen years, as Simkeh fell in love with Itzik Pippik.  He made her laugh and dance.  He tickled her in places she had never been.  He offered her his body and she took a chance.  For years, they kept a tidy house and Simkeh’s mood had lifted.  She was telling jokes and stories as he played the tambourines and rang the little bells for her.  Her joy was greater than she’d ever felt.  She felt alive again.  The pippik, Itzik, loved to watch her dance the Dance of Seven Veils and do kazutzkis on her toes.  She loved to wave her breasts at Itzik who responded by undressing slowly and repeating all her dancing and her waving.  Laughing heartily, they passed the nights in heavy petting, passion and loud exclamations of their love, together.  One night, our Itzik grabbed his chest and started laboured breathing.  Simkeh panicked.  She did try to breathe her spirit into him.  He opened finally his eyes and said, “I love you, Simkeh, darling.  Knowing you has made my life complete.  I Bless you, dearly, and I’ll wait for you in Heaven or in Hell.”  He died.  Simkeh’s heart was breaking and she died.  Amen and Hallelujah…

In Hell, Simkeh met Thomas.  Itzik had to watch as his true love accepted petting from his rival, which progression to union, time and time, again.  Itzik Pippik hung his head, but spotted Dora on the floor, completely naked and obsequious.  He bent to pick her up and she pierced him with her fork-ed tongue and paralysed him.  He became a quadriplegic and was confined to an electric wheelchair.  However, Dora curled up in his lap and pleasured him, continuously, which helped Itzik, tremendously, to blot out Simkeh and her avid lover, still entwined and quite enjoined.  The Fires of Hell, engulfed them all, producing acrid sulfur fumes.  Then, Lucifer turned down the thermostats and Hell froze over, solidly, resulting in a win for Canada over its perennial rival, Russia.

When Simkeh melted and regained her senses, she sought out the block of ice that Itzik was frozen into.  She sat on it and hatched a wet and soggy Itzik, who miraculously recovered completely from his quadriplegia.  He ate the frozen Dora and digested her completely.  Simkeh kissed and hugged her Itzik and they started into making passionate love until they both discovered that their genitalia had been altered by the freeze.  Itzik no longer had a wee-wee and poor Simkeh no longer had a moist receptacle, which in the past had always been prepared and lubed for Itzik’s manly apparatus.  They both remarked that “Life was Hell!” and shrivelled up and really died.  Two piles of ashes were swept under the tapestry that lay upon the floor of Hell.  Lucifer turned firey red and laughed like only he could laugh.  The laugh reverberated through the upper world and God could hear him clearly as He sat upon his Heavenly Thrown, His Son beside Him at his Feet.  The Holy Ghost prepared to fly and descended to the Earth, where he did visit women who had trouble getting pregnant.  He met with Lucifer in the newly re-created Eden, in between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.  Lilith re-appeared to do her thing and taught a newer version of The Common Man to copulate with a newer version of The Common Woman, that The Lord had cloned.  All the other humans had been flooded out and drowned.  The New Mankind was kinder, overall, and did begat a billion new Human Beings to repopulated the Firmament, a single continent surrounded by a lot of salty water.  Continental drifting re-created geographic features very similar to what was there before.  China and India were particularly successful in producing billions of people to pollute the fresh airs and fresh waters that were at one time quite abundant.  War and genocide continued, unabashedly.  The cycles of bad weather continued on until the Earth rejoined the Sun in about seven billion Human years.  The dinosaurs were not successful in these cycles, yet again.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

July 18, 2013

THE END

© izzy sommers, md., retired, Welland, Canada, July 15, 2013