Samantha in Eden

SAMANTHA AND

THE NEWEST TESTAMENT

A Legend in the Making

Of a Silly Ode

In Pentametre Iambique

By Izzy Ess of Silliness

Samantha used her samovar and almost

Blew her kitchenette right off the planet.

Tovarich and her boyfriend Vlad, quite naked,

Found her lying nude and took advantage

Of her semi-coma to revive

Her with some fondling.  She responded,

Happily, and gave them tit for tat.  Her Persian

Cat began to purr and licked her fur

Quite thoroughly to get the pieces of

The samovar removed.  The happy foursome

Found a new apartment to restart

A family.  A neighbour, Ivan, brought

His stripper, Olga, to the welcome party.

Olga stripped for all of them, Vlad, Sam,

Tovarich, Ivan and the Persian cat,

Named Beauregard.  Regarding Lenin and

Bogdonovich, they all agreed that living

In communion helped their union, one

And all.  They secretly blessed all the bagels,

And the Beaujolais, to eat the flesh

And drink the blood.  A flood ensued because

A continental drift caused India

To separate from underneath the Himalayas

And swim back to Outback Land.

An honest swami said tsunamis will

Completely cleanse the Human Race, which faced

Annihilation at the hands of Burmese

Little People.  As the enterprising

Nude and lewd bemusing Moscow Group

Of Seventeen constructed an enormous

Ark of teak and sandalwood, which floated

Them and all their animals, plants, seeds

And rats to the top brink of Mount Vesuvius,

Where heat and lava were abundant.  They

Repopulated and replanted all

The firmaments, in Heaven, as they did

On Earth.  The Orcas and the Penguins dominated

All the fauna and the flora.

And, Samantha was pre-warned to stay

Away from Samovars, the first of Twenty

Thousand New Commandments which comprised

The first Ten Books of The Official Testament

And Russian Bible that was carved

In alabaster by Sir Vladimir,

Directed by Othello, First Commander

Of the ruling class of whales and penguins,

Most of whom were named Iago, by

The Persian cat, Sir Beauregard.  Retarded

Growth of olive trees resulted in

The use of oil of sesame for most

The ceremonies which were plentiful.

The newer Edens were so bountiful,

Resourceful, beautiful and almost full

Of myrrh and frankincense, gold coins and fuel.

Samantha and a Lilith were the famous

Matriarchs begetting gleefully

Humanity with block and tackle woolly

Mammoths, aardvarks and a bully bear.

Remarkably, Ms. Sam wore underwear.

THE END

© izzy sommers, md

Welland, Canada

July 29, 2013