a san fracisco treat

THE COO’S OF SAN FRANCISCO

A Tale of Comedy and Tragedy

By Izzy Ess of Holiness

When Stanford Sanderson graduated from Stanford University, he sought to specialize in escort services.  He’d had a taste of it, courtesy his father-in-law, Nipsy Netherby, a self-made man who’d made his money selling racing tires and car brassieres as well as Fords and Mercurys, Lincolns and Ford Trucks.  When Stanford had sought out his daughter, Rosalyn, he gifted him with an expensive escort from the Netherlands.  Nipsy told him she was worth the price of $500 for exactly four hours.  Stanford guessed she was one of Nipsy’s favourites.  Stanford was enthralled with her; she was very flexible and could bend in ways that were exciting and inviting.  Her name was Freda and she was from Madrid, Spain.  She had great eyes and eyelashes, lips and breasts and everything were perfect, physically and physiologically.  He was most turned on by Freda’s softly spoken words throughout the entire four hours that they spent together in a honeymoon suite at Regency Arms Hotel.  She was soothing and encouraging, even if her mouth were otherwise engaged.  Stanford screamed in joy when she was sucking on his manhood and still softly whispering his name, “Stanford, Stamford. Stanford…” ending finally with, “STANFORD!  STANFORD!  STANNN-FFFFORRRRD!!!” as he exploded in her mouth.  Then, she continued to murmur his name as she licked him clean and swallowed everything with relish.

“Yessiree!”  he said to himself as he left the campus for the final time.  “I’m going to find a dozen Freda’s and ensure they are loving and encouraging.  I may try them all out before I hire them.  I think we should be able to charge a thousand a night for 6-8 hours of bliss for the customers.  I’ll get some business advice from Nipsy and clear it with Rosalyn, too.”  At supper, that evening, Stanford proposed his plan to Rosalyn and Nipsy.  The response was a little more than he’d bargained for.

“Wow!  What a great idea,” said Nipsy.  “I can stake you to the cash for a nice house in a wealthy suburb.  We can split the profits three ways, a third for you, a third for my lovely Rosalyn and a third for me.  I might be able to quit my present dullsville job and be your partner with offices in the nice house we build and furnish.”

“Wow!  What a splendid plan,” said Rosalyn, cautiously.  She went on to say, “I suggest I become the secretary and treasurer of your company and have an office in the house you’re going to build and furnish.  I could keep it clean and kinda be the supervisor of the loving girls who should bring in a bundle of money.  I think you’re forgetting that a wealthy suburb also has wealthy women.  I think you should consider male escorts for those women.  I could also be your counterparts and teach the men just how to please a woman.  I think I know where to find some tall black men with very long and strong equipment that might be just the trick.”

“I think I made a wise investment in your education, dear daughter, Rosalyn.  You’ll be able to use every bit of that Master’s level, MBA, Master of Business Administration.  And you, my darling son-in-law will be able to use every bit of that degree in Ancient History.”

The trio of conspirators laughed heartily.  They brought out their legal length yellow pads and started making serious plans.  Their discussions were animated and pointed.  They moved to the bedroom where Rosalyn had her Apple Computer set up.  The two men stood behind her, their hands on her lovely shoulders, while she quickly typed up preliminary agreements to form a company with three COO’s.  Rosalyn was to be the Treasurer.  Stanford was to become the President and Nipsy was to be the chief consulting whiz, in charge of the women’s division.  Rosalyn was to be in charge of the men’s division.  All three signed in the assigned places.  All three conspirators initialed in the initialling places.  “Da fix is in!” proclaimed Nipsy.  “D’accord!” proclaimed the younger couple, ensemblement.

Nipsy had no trouble getting $100,000 in cash to start them off.  Rosalyn took the money and started making ledgers on the Excel programme of her iMac.  Stanford found the perfect three story house on a hill in San Francisco.  All of them pitched in for refurbishing and decorating the georgeous house with fifteen bedrooms, altogether, from the basement to the attic areas.  They all agreed so easily on antique English furniture and purple drapery.  The wall-to-wall plush carpeting was mauve and pink and custom made.  Nipsy added another $100,000 to their coffers.  The house was finished in three months.  The name above the heavy oak door read, “Heaven House.”  The gardening was done by all three partners who liked to plant with English Garden seeds.  The grass was green with tinges of blue and purple, from Kentucky.  A black, wrought-iron fence surrounded the entire property.  The fountain in the front yard was the water carrier, Aquarius.  In the back, shielded by dense trees and bushes was a large copy of the Brussels’s famous fountain, Manikin Piss.  Several areas in the back yard would allow for dalliance upon the grass by naked couples who liked the open air for love-making.

The big item remaining was the hiring of escorts, male and female.  Freda came on board, immeditately.  Rosalyn interviewed fifty men and Stanford, fifty women.  Nipsy interviewed all the men and women escort candidates.  None of them were shy about the try-outs.  Often, Nipsy, Stanford and Rosalyn, did interviews together, naked, with up to five naked candidates.  Secret tapes were made of all the coupling, for review and security purposes.  Mainly, the candidates were made aware that there were films of them in action that would be used to prevent any leaks of information from the Heaven House.  Finally, the three executives agreed on ten women and ten men for suitable escorts.  This process of trying out took over forty days and thirty-nine nights.  The recruits all signed contracts ensuring secrecy and confidentiality, in return for which, they would receive a very generous salary, benefits and retirement planning counselling.

Freda was the hands-down favourite of everyone.  She was promoted quickly to Madame da Freda, given a pile of stock options in the corporation and a special desk in the foyer to carry out her responsibilities as Madam of the House.  She gave up escorting, gladly, to assume her new position, which she carried off, with ease.  She dressed in silken robes with slits down to her belly-button and up to her hips.  Her favourite robe was a royal purple colour fitted nicely to her exotic contours.  Sometimes, along with Stanford, Nipsy and Rosalyn, she gave instructions for her younger clients and less experienced escorts, men and women.  Her stock, like those of the original three COO’s increased in value, logarithmically.  Freda became a full partner after one year.  The House of Heaven was always full and active.  The men, especially, liked the outdoor secluded areas on the grass.  The women liked the antique furniture and drapery.  The rates were raised for special parties, mainly politicians and show people.  Foreigners compared the delights to European spots like Hamburg and Antwerp.  Freda and the other COO’s converted some of the rooms to theatres where clients, for a special fee, could watch through one-way mirrors, the sexual adventures of another couple.

On January 1, 2021, the Heaven House Corporation was launched.  At the annual meeting of stockholders, January 1, 2022, the profit was announced by Rosalyn.  “We made a gross profit of $3,865,342.33 and a net profit, after salaries, taxes and house expenses, and redecorating, etc., we made a net profit of $2,056,898.87.”  The next year, it was $5,897,396.37.  I move we use the net profits to open another House in another city, say New York.”  The vote was unanimous, 4-0, in favour of Rosalyn’s motion.  There were no abstainers or discussions.

On July 1, 2023, another Heaven House was opened in Washington, DC.  On January 31, 2025, another Heaven House was opened in Miami, FL.  More Houses over the next ten years were opened in NYC, Denver, Atlanta, Chicago and Boston.  The Corporation was clearing over a billion dollars, yearly.  Freda married Stanford after he divorced Rosalyn.  Nipsy died of the complications of AIDS, which he had contracted long before.  Rosalyn remained a free spirit.  Eventually, she met and married the King of the Congo and became the Queen of the Congo, eventually bearing three beautiful princesses.  Freda presented Stanford with three handsome princes.  They all studied Mathematics at Yale, Harvard and Princeton, respectively.

What is wrong with me?  This is a total confabulation!  I've left out a very important event.  Lightening struck and killed every COO within a year of setting up Heaven House number one.  The Heaven House itself crumbled in an Earthquake that also destroyed the big hill in San Francisco and the entire Haight Ashbury community plus the Giant Stadium, nearby.  Above the Firmament, God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost were satisfied.  They had convinced Thor to throw the lightening bolts which did the deeds.  A natural Tsunami washed the area clean of Evil.  They were practicing for the Second Coming which was scheduled for the year, 3000, ACE, when only 144,000 Saved folks would ascend to the Kingdom of Heaven and there would be Heaven on Earth, Good Will Toward Men, but not Women and Children.

SOBEIT!

THE END

© izzy sommers, md., retired

Welland, Canada

July 4, 2013